#not SUPER well known but decent enough amount

[sleepingdeath-light]

various cookies vs no nut november ; 18+

requested by ; cookie simp anon (event)

fandom(s) ; cookie run

fandom masterlist(s) ; hub | epic | super epic

character(s) ; clotted cream cookie, crunchy chip cookie, wildberry cookie

warning(s) ; sexually explicit content, various characters failing the ‘no nut november’ challenge

minors and ageless blogs will be blocked

clotted cream cookie

wouldn’t participate of his own accord, but would certainly rise to the challenge if you asked him to give it a go after you started dating — he’s not overly optimistic nor overly pessimistic about how he thinks he’s going to do, hoping to make it through the whole month but knowing himself and his needs well enough to recognise that there’s a very solid chance that he won’t get through all thirty days

does encourage you to participate with him for the fun of it, but if you opt out then he won’t mind too much — of course he may tease you a bit at first for wanting him to ‘suffer’ alone, but he doesn’t actually mind and instead just lets you know that you will be on your own for a while because he knows good and well that he won’t be able to get you off without losing the challenge himself

either makes it through to december with only a few near-misses (more likely if his november schedule is packed and you’re not trying to get him to break) or he crumbles at some point between the start of week two and the middle of week three (if you’re being an awful tease and he doesn’t have his work to hide behind as a distraction)

and whether he loses to his fist in a moment of weakness in his home office — all gritted teeth, bitten lips, muffled grunts, and a tight grip around his aching cock that has him cumming all over his dress pants in a shamefully short amount of time — or to you in the most private area you could find at the time is entirely down to you and how much you want to tease him (surprising him at home in little to no clothing, or one of his shirts/blazers with nothing underneath, is a pretty good way to have him straining against his slacks and ready to throw in the towel)

so, yeah, clotted cream cookie does do pretty well and makes it decently far into nnn but he will inevitably lose as he predicted… but, hey, at least he’s self aware about the whole thing

crunchy chip cookie

very much so did not want to participate because he thought the whole idea was dumb as hell, only agreed under the threat of a two month long sex ban if he didn’t at least try to make it through november — makes it known constantly just how unhappy he is about the whole thing and how he can’t wait for the month to end

does actually give it a go and does really well, having a few near misses every now and then but pushing onward out of spite just to prove you wrong after you said he wouldn’t make it

(and don’t even think about teasing him because he will make you regret it — he can be pretty mean when he wants to be and he will edge you for hours with his fingers until you’re weeping and sobbing out apologies and promising to be on your best behaviour for the rest of the month)

fumbles at the last hurdle and ends up losing like only an hour before the end of november — granted that’s basically already a win and he didn’t really care for nnn in the first place so he isn’t even remotely upset about technically losing the challenge you damn near bullied him into participating in

and it’s not like you have the brain capacity to tease him about his last second loss when crunchy chip cookie’s dick is buried so deep inside of you that you’re seeing stars behind your eyelids and so cock-drunk that you’re practically talking in tongues…

so the two of you end up counting it as a win anyway because what difference does one hour make?

wildberry cookie

doesn’t necessarily see the point in nnn but will participate if you ask him to — partially to test his own self restraint and partially because, for as stoic and serious as he can be, wildberry cookie just cannot say no to you so the second you give him those puppy-dog eyes and say the word ‘please’ he was already done for without you even needing to explain the premise of the challenge

actually makes it through the whole month without fumbling and manages to make nnn look deceptively easy in the process — but make no mistake he was struggling quite a bit with not being able to make love to you and found himself having far more cold showers than usual in order to clear his mind and chase away his arousal at multiple points (more frequently later in the month but he still had his moments in the earlier days of november)

if you opt out of participating then he insists that you let him take care of you with his mouth and hands, putting your needs and wants well above his as always and assuring you each and every time that he doesn’t mind and that he truly does love helping you — even if the taste of your spend/slick on his tongue, the scent of your body, and the warmth of you around his fingers is more than enough to leave him lightheaded, hard, and in need of a cold shower to clear his mind afterwards

teasing him will get him visibly hard and flustered but it won’t get him to break — wildberry cookie’s resolve is borderline unbreakable so there’s no way to coax him into fucking you into the bed until december comes around and the challenge is over

if you choose to participate with him then he’s going to be so encouraging and so good at keeping you on track even if you get really tempted to stumble — wildberry cookie adores you and wants to help you succeed in all aspects of life, after all, and that includes silly things like nnn

or, in other words, wildberry cookie will succeed with flying colours while also managing to help you get off throughout the entirety of november — what a man!

[thequeenofthestorm]

How to Use D&D to Make Elden Bling

Part Two is out now! Read it here!

Introduction

So, I'm sure that my post title doesn't make too much sense, but let me explain myself. So, in D&D there are 12 different types of armor. Three of them are light, five of them are medium, and four of them are heavy. These armor types (plus one more for unarmored) can be used to categorize all Elden Ring clothing and armor, which is what I've used in the past to help me make better fashion. Now, this doesn't fully correlate with weight, although there is a pretty decent trend with heavier kinds of D&D armor being heavier in Elden Ring. Elden Ring has its own separations of armor categories, which I've decided to label as unarmored, robes, ultra light, very light, light, light medium, medium, heavy, very heavy, ultra heavy, and oversized. These are all fairly explanatory, and I mainly bring them up here for categorization purposes later on.

What Are the D&D Armor Types?

Alright, so now that we've talked about the categories, what are each of the D&D armor classes? What do they look like? What is used to distinguish it from other armor types? WHAT THE HELL IS SPLINT? Etc. etc. We'll go over them from lightest to heaviest below.

Padded

Padded is the lightest of the twelve armor types: just featuring layers of quilted cloth. This is primarily known as gambeson, and almost looks like a quilt version of one of those blanket hoodies when thick enough. It will keep you alive more than clothing, but not much more. Arrows will still tear through, as well as things like spears of just a sharp sword if the armor is thin enough.

Leather

The armor of rogues and other edgy folk everywhere: this is one of the more popular kinds of armor in D&D. It's just some simple boiled leather, typically fastened into a breastplate. According to roll20, aside from the breastplate the rest of the armor tends to be made of more flexible materials, which can be kind of true, but there's probably a little more than that: with maybe some greaves or forearm protection. Of course, most of your joints are likely going to have fairly breathable materials so that you can move, but you'd be able to get away with the same amount of leather that you would steel on, say, half plate (which I'll get into later)

Studded Leather

Ok so like apparently this armor never really existed, which I'm not super surprised about. Like, it's just leather with metal studs to help with sturdiness. Not gonna bother talking much about this one

Hide

Ok so we're now in the medium armors. I'll be honest, this feels like it should be under the light armors, but fur and animal hide is heavy so whatever. But yeah, it's armor made by thick animal furs and pelts. Think the kind of stuff that barbarians wear.

Chain Shirt

Made from interlocking rings, it's just chainmail in shirt form. None or only very little of the arm or leg protection, just the torso.

Scale Mail

You take a fish and make it into armor. I kid, but that's what it looks like. You take a bunch of metal scales and overlap them on each other. This set tends to mainly just be a coat with maybe greaves, according to roll20.

Breastplate

A breastplate, cuirass, or whatever you want to call it is very simple: a sheet of metal to cover your torso, with not much else. It's usually not JUST the torso covering (also known as the cuirass), and it may have some pauldrons and tassets, but not much else.

Half Plate

This is, in my opinion, the most confusing type of armor. According to roll20, it's interlocking plates that cover most of the wearers body, but with only simple greaves. That sounds simple on paper, but it always just sounded too much like plate, until I got this description from online. I unfortunately don't remember where this was, but half plate was described as a "best hits" compilation of full plate armor, which makes sense. Simple shin or thigh protection, a full breastplate with elbow and knee plates, and leather or possibly steel gauntlets.

Ring Mail

If you've ever played Skyrim: this is what the executioner in Helgen wears. It's a suit of cloth or leather that has rings put on top to help shake off sword or axe blows. It's inferior to chainmail armor (and hell probably half plate as well) but it's not bad. I feel like this should be the heaviest medium set instead of half plate, and that half plate should be the lightest heavy set, but I'm not from WotC and don't have some large following so my opinion doesn't matter much lol.

Chain Mail

Remember that chain shirt of interlocking metal rings we talked about earlier? Yeah, now make it into a full set of armor. Think the crusaders and a lighter armored paladin (as the heavier ones tend to go for plate). Some historical vikings wore chainmail as well!

Splint

Splint is probably the second weirdest armor behind half plate, but it's not super weird to visualize. Take long steel strips and bolt them on top of leather armor. Some types of splint could be brigandine or lamellar armor. I also think of roman legionnaire armor as a lighter form of splint

Plate

Alright, the heaviest suit of armor, and is by far the easiest to visualize as it's so damn customizable. It's the knight in shining armor archetype, the tin man made into armor, etc. etc. Paladins wear it. Fighters wear it. Plate armor is wonderful. You can wear robes over it or even other light armor as long as it's not gonna make you boil in the weather! Also, roll20 states that the boots are normally leather, but it kind of depends tbh. I typically think of plated sabatons, but shorter leather boots work well too!

Which Elden Ring Armor is Which?

So now that we have a basic understanding of each type of armor, we can now sort the Elden Ring armors into each of these thirteen types of clothing (the twelve types + unarmored). This isn't going to be going over non-set armor, as I'll be honest there is enough armor to go through already. Next to each armor set, I will also show the Elden Ring weight class. This can help if you, say, want to put together a heavy set of leather armor, or if you want to take pieces of plate armor that may be lighter in order to cut down on weight (because the plate armor can get quite light in some cases). I'll stop rambling and just show each armor class now lol. I was going to add images, but I've run out of images I can put on here lol.

Unarmored

Clothing, Most Mage Robes, Lightly Armored Sets with No Fitting Category, ETC.

Alberich's - Robes

Aristocrat - Unarmored

Astrologer - Robes

Azur's Glintstone - Robes

Battlemage - Robes

Bloodsoaked - Unarmored

Blue Festive - Unarmored

Champion (Kind of - It just doesn't have enough armor to go anywhere) - Light

Commoner's - Unarmored

Consort's - Ultra Light

Duelist - Light

Errant Sorcerer - Robe

Festive - Unarmored

Fia's - Robes

Finger Maiden - Robes

House Marais - Very Light

Godskin Apostle - Ultra Light

Goldmask's - Robes

Guardian Garb - Unarmored

Guilty - Unarmored

High Page - Unarmored

Juvenile Scholar - Robes

Lazuli Sorcerer - Robes

Lusat's - Robes

Malenia's - Medium

Mushroom - Unarmored

Noble's - Very Light

Old Aristocrat - Set

Page - Unarmored

Perfumer - Ultra Light

Preceptor's - Robes

Prisoner - Unarmored

Prophet - Robes

Queen of the Full Moon - Robes

Raya Lucarian Sorcerer - Robes

Ronin's - Medium

Rotten Duelist - Light

Ruler's - Ultra Light

Sage - Robes

Sanguine Noble - Ultra Light

Snow Witch - Robes

Spellblade - Robes

Traveler's - Unarmored

Traveling Maiden - Robes

War Surgeon - Very Light

Ansbach's - Ultra Light

Ascetics - Light

Dancer's - Very Light

Dane's - Robes

High Priest - Robes

Hornsent - Unarmored

Thiollier's - Very Light

Padded

Gambeson and Particularly Thick Cloth

Depraved Perfumer - Ultra Light

Godrick Foot Soldier - Light

Haligtree Foot Soldier - Light

Highwayman - Light

Godskin Noble - Ultra Light

Leyndell Foot Soldier - Light

Mausoleum Foot Soldier - Light

Omenkiller - Very Light

Perfumer Traveler's - Ultra Light

Radahn Foot Soldier - Light

Raya Lucarian Foot Soldier - Light

Common Soldier - Light

Shadow Militiaman - Light

Leather

Armor Made Of... Leather...

Bandit - Very Light

Blue Cloth - Very Light

Confessor - Very Light

Leather - Very Light

Raptor's - Very Light

Highland Warrior - Light

Studded Leather

Leather Armor With Those Tiny LEGO Bricks

Vulgar Militia - Light

Yes, that is it. The Nox sets MAY fit here, but they look more like a brass-tinted metal than leather to me. You can get away with them, though

Hide

Armor Made of Thick Animal Furs and Pelts

Fur - Ultra Light

Shaman - Ultra Light

Iron Rivet (Look I just wanted a third set here, ok?) - Light

Chain Shirt

Shirt Made of Interlocking Rings

Albinauric - Light Medium (Not confirmed as I have the game closed while writing this and isn't considered a set in my full item checklist apparently)

Drake Knight - Very Heavy (Could also go under chainmail or half plate)

Godrick Soldier - Light Medium

Haligtree Soldier - Light Medium

Leyndell Soldier - Light Medium

Mausoleum Soldier - Light Medium

Nomadic Merchant's - Very Light

Radahn Soldier - Light Medium

Raya Lucarian Soldier - Light Medium

Messmer Soldier - Light Medium

Scale Mail

Armor of Metal "Fish Scales"

Black Knife - Medium

Exile - Medium

Iron - Medium

Kaiden - Medium

Night Maiden - Light

Nox Monk - Light

Nox Swordstress - Light

Messmer's - Medium

Breastplate

A Fitted Metal Chestplate, Without Much Extra Protection

Eccentric - Medium

Elden Lord - Medium

Marionette Soldier - Medium

Zamor - Medium

Divine Beast - Heavy

Divine Bird - Heavy

Freyja's - Medium

Gravebird - Very Light

Igon's - Light

Half Plate

The "Greatest Hits" of the Superior Plate Armor. High Torso Protection with Moderate Limb Protection

Blackflame Monk - Medium

Blaidd's - Very Heavy

Bloodhound Knight - Heavy

Carian Knight - Heavy

Fire Monk - Medium

General Radahn - Ultra Heavy

Raging Wolf - Very Heavy

Scaled - Ultra Heavy

Death Knight (Can work with chainmail as well) - Heavy

Horned Warrior - Heavy

Oathseeker Knight - Very Heavy

Young Lion's - Ultra Heavy

Ring Mail

There's no ring mail sets, so I'm just gonna move on without the quick one-two sentence subtitle

Chain Mail

A Suit of Interlocking Metal Rings

Blue Silver - Medium

Briar - Very Heavy

Chain - Light Medium

Splint

Metal Strips Riveted Onto a Leather Backing

Land of Reeds - Medium

White Reed - Medium

Gaius's - Ultra Heavy

Plate

Full-Body Coverings Made with Shaped, Interlocking Metal Plates

All-Knowing - Very Heavy

Banished Knight - Ultra Heavy

Beast Champion - Ultra Heavy

Bull-Goat - Oversized

Cleanrot - Heavy

Crucible Axe - Ultra Heavy

Crucible Tree - Ultra Heavy

Cuckoo Knight - Heavy

Fingerprint - Very Heavy

Fire Prelate - Oversized

Gelmir Knight - Heavy

Godrick Knight - Heavy

Haligtree knight - Heavy

Hoslow's - Very Heavy

Knight - Heavy

Leyndell Knight - Heavy

Lionel's - Oversized

Malformed Dragon - Ultra Heavy

Maliketh's (Can fit scaled as well) - Very Heavy

Mausoleum Knight - Heavy

Night's Cavalry - Ultra Heavy

Omen - Oversized

Redmane Knight - Heavy

Royal Knight - Very Heavy

Royal Remains - Very Heavy

Tree Sentinel - Ultra Heavy

Twinned Set - Very Heavy

Vagabond Knight - Heavy

Veteran's - Ultra Heavy

Black Knight - Heavy

Fire Knight - Heavy

Night - Medium

Rakshasa - Very Heavy

Rellana's - Very Heavy

Solitude - Ultra Heavy

Verdigris - Oversized

Conclusion

Aaaaaaand that should be it! I may've forgotten a set or two since I'm writing this at 0230, but I got the majority of them done. If this post gets enough eyes on it, I want to do a follow-up post or two with what I couldn't include in this post. I want to show fashion that pertains to each of the thirteen categories, explain ways to use items in different categories to make items in different categories (for example, using a robe over plate armor pieces to make plate armor with a much lighter weight), and show every one of my current characters while explaining what armor category I think they fall into. Hopefully this was entertaining enough to read, but to be fair if you're all the way down here you (may've) read it all, so thanks! :D

Ok yeah I'm gonna go to sleep now. This has been Rachel; y'all have a night lol

[izunias-meme-hole]

My Top 10 Ganon Incarnations (Remake)

Number 1. Breath of The Wild/Tears of The Kingdom - It's honestly surprising how this duology managed to crank out one of the greatest incarnations of Ganon in the series. In the first game, we see Ganon's power in the form of a demonic beast known as Calamity Ganon, and while this thing was basically an animal, it is the primary reason why the world of BoTW is as barren as it is, and this monster does have both a large presence, and decent amount of activity though the Guardians, Blights, Divine Beasts, and blood moons, creating a fear factor for a good chunk of the game. That is until said fear vanishes when you see that this things final form is just a flaming pig. However, in ToTK we meet the source of Calamity Ganon, the original Demon King Ganondorf from the era of Hyrule's founding and man does he deliver. He stays underground for a majority of the game after shattering the Master Sword and almost killing Link, but he never stops feeling like an active threat because of his Phantom Ganon's, Puppet Zelda, and the most dangerous thing in his arsenal, gloom. Not only that, but ToTK goes out of it's way to still present Ganondorf as a darwinistic asshole who worships power and actually thinks that his actions are justified due to his earned position as the Gerudo's divinely appointed king, though unlike his other incarnations he has a terminal case of insanity from the get-go, which rears its head at every chance. These games made Ganon into a legitimate demon on all fronts, first introducing his pure demonic power without his dangerous mind and then introducing the true mad Demon King himself later on.

Number 2. Ocarina of Time/Twilight Princess - This was the best Ganondorf incarnation of a LONG time. He’s a timeless classic with simple, yet effective characterization who does so much with such little screentime. He starts out as a king of thieves with a large ambition who is willing to kill anyone who gets in the way of his prize, and said prize was the triforce, and he actually gets it, well a piece of it. Then in the future, he goes from that to a true King of Evil, and judging by the impact his reign has had on the land, and the fact that he nearly genocided the Zora and Gorons, is honestly enough to inform the player that he's somehow crueler than before. Also HE PLAYS HIS OWN THEME ON AN ORGAN IN REAL TIME AS YOU TRAVEL HIS CASTLE! And how could we forget about that horrific beast form. Also let’s not forget about his return in Twilight Princess, picking up where he left off after getting snitched on by Link. He's active through Zant for a lot of the game, and when we hear about him, he's basically built up as a ruthless ass bastard with a god complex, and he himself is such a god damn great final boss. OOT/TP Ganondorf was and IS the blueprint for any future incarnations of the character, and he was the best for a long time, and that quality remained when he returned in Twilight Princess as the final boss. But now he finally has an equal.

Number 3. Hyrule Warriors - To sum up this incarnation of Ganondorf, he's a magnificent bastard, and arguably the best representation of Ganon outside of the main series. He thrives on the battlefield, has learned from previous defeats, has his arrogance and ambitions on check, operates in the shadows if he has too, and most importantly HE GOT THE FULL TRIFORCE. He also has a dank design. Were it not for the fact that he's in a warriors game, this Ganondorf would've been worshiped by everyone.

Number 4. Super Smash Bros - He was a last minute inclusion in Melee, a bad character to play as in Brawl, a joke in smash 4 gameplay-wise. So why is he Number 3? He was a good "Orcus on His Throne" villain in Subspace, he got a HUGE upgrade in Ultimate, and the aura around him and the energy he has in ALL the games is 100% Ganondorf, from his taunts to the heaviness of his attacks. One of his taunts is literally him taking out a sword and putting it away, implying that he could use it, but only needs his overwhelming power to beat his enemies, and it's the type of arrogance I expect from Ganon when he's at the height of his power. He ain't the best character in the games and is in need of buffs, but I do believe he's a good representation of Ganon outside the main series. Also when do you ever see Ganon interacting with Bowser, Sephiroth, Ridley, AND King Dedede in offical media?

Number 5. A Link To The Past - I don’t feel like we give this man enough credit. He mainly pranced around as Agahnim in A Link To The Past, so he doesn’t have enough time to truly be himself, but even then he was still a great villain and a great final boss for his time. He’s aged like fine wine as a villain lore-wise and in some story elements, especially since Agahnim would not only be the inspiration for Zant, but the Phantom Ganons, literal extensions of Ganon himself. Sure he’s still a big blue boar, but he’s actually conniving, he’s got his mind intact, an entire realm that he has full control over, he actually took over Hyrule Castle via posing as a hero during his time as Agahnim, AND HE HAS THE FULL TRIFORCE. Sure he ain’t beating OoT Ganondorf, but he's the best Classic Ganon due to lore, feats, and the fact he walked so the other Ganons could run. Also this is the game that revealed snippets of Ganon’s origin, which we got to see in full in OoT.

Number 6. Wind Waker - After reassessing this take on Ganon, I realized that his biggest problem isn’t a lack of presence, because he does have that in spades still. His problem is a lack of general activity, aside from princess kidnapping which does end up hurting him a lot. But at the end of the day, Wind Waker’s Ganondorf carried by a great final battle, a good design, and genuine depth as a character. The best way to sum him up is "The Lord of A Dead Empire," and everytime he's appears, that becomes clearer and clearer. Despite this characterization of the big bad king being sadder than usual, this guy is still downright evil to the bone, so don't be caught off guard. Sure, he's lower on the list, but he's still pretty amazing, and he's also 50% of the fandom's favorite incarnation of him, which is honestly an achievement.

Number 7. Yuganon - Ganon was feral and mindless before this, but after basically fusing with the narcissistic artist Yuga, Yuganon here basically became more destructive and ambitious than both Yuga and Ganon. Yuga was already a good villain and creative villain, but combining him with a mindless and feral Ganon just established that “yep… he’s Lorule’s Ganondorf.”

Number 8. Four Swords Adventure - I’m honestly split on this guy. While he’s honestly not astounding, Ganon was decent here. He’s a reincarnation of Ganon that was active as Ganondorf, but only appears at the end as Ganon. However I do feel like he could’ve made just ONE appearance as Ganondorf the man at some point rather than just final boss pig beast Ganon. Aside from that, he’s just decent altogether. Nothing infuriating, but nothing good either.

Number 9. Oracle Games - He's basically a prototype Calamity Ganon, but he never got a full time in the limelight because Twinrova revived him at the end. However, he is here because, well... this is ironically a fitting fate for Classic Ganon at this point in the timeline. Being reduced to a mere mindless beast that only cares about destruction and nothing else.

Number 10. Zelda 1 - Nothing special, but he’s the first Ganon, so he’s kinda an honorary member here.

[majoliish]

Body Type Headcanons!

These are just some of my personal headcanons for the main cast's overall body types - I have a lot more to say about them (and why they are the way they are), so if anyone is curious feel free to bother me!

CW for general talk of body types (with no negative connotations attached)

Lucifer - The second tallest of the brothers. Straight up and down and as flat as a board. A little bit of muscle, enough to be defined but not to be super noticeable. A very ‘generic’ body type.

Mammon - Kind of short and stocky. He seems taller just because he works so hard to make his presence known and keep attention on himself to some degree. 

Leviathan - Spindly and lanky, but with little pouches of chub here and there - think like the Spot from Spiderverse, but he wears it well.

Satan - Very similar body type to Lucifer, but he looks shorter because of his poor posture. He also, overall, looks more angular than Lucifer.

Asmodeus - His appearance is the one that varies the most, he changes it up almost daily, adjusting curvature and shapes in ways that he feels are ‘aesthetically pleasing’, sometimes switching up his gender presentation too. But overall, he’s soft and short, and curvy in all the right places.

Beelzebub - He’s the tallest of all his brothers. He’s big and broad, and while he’s obscenely strong, the muscle isn’t as defined as, say, a bodybuilder. He’s got some softness to protect it. 

Belphegor - Very chubby and rounded, which is accentuated even more when he wears baggy clothes. When he sits or lays down, he tends to just devolve into a little puddle.

Diavolo - He’s the most typical bear you could imagine. Big and broad, chubby and hairy. He’s a little below Lucifer’s height (up to his nose), but Lucifer tends to slouch in his presence so that he seems taller. 

Barbatos - He’s very petite, in a way that almost seems ethereal. He has the ability to easily change his appearance, but he finds that a smaller form tends to make others let their guard down around him. He’s still extraordinarily strong though. 

Simeon - He’s slim and fit, but overall fairly slender. He’s the same height as Diavolo. Relatively skinny and also sort of soft-looking, with very little visible built muscle. 

Luke - In Nightbringer he’s sort of like… childishly proportioned, like a teen boy going through a growth spurt, where he’s got too much height in his limbs, whereas in the original game, he’s sort of shorter and more rounded out, with a decent amount of chub. 

Solomon - Wiry and spindly, almost in an uncanny sort of way. He may occasionally look unhealthily gaunt, but he plays it off like it’s nothing.

[buggywiththefolkmagic]

How to Vet Authors in Witchcraft-The Buggy Way!

So you’ve found an aesthetically pleasing cover for a book in your local New Age section and you want to know if they’re worth that $25 price tag? You’ve come to the right place! Vetting witchcraft books can be super tricky...especially if you don’t know what to look for! 

My process for vetting is pretty simple, but it covers enough bases to see if it might be something to glance at. 

Look at who endorses the book! Who has raved about it? Do you know anything about that person? For example when looking at a folk magic book with an introduction from Starr Casas I immediately know there might be some Hoodoo appropriation involved because that’s what she is known for! Having an idea of who the ‘big bads’ are in the type of magic you’re looking at helps considerably. 

If the first step isn’t applicable...then I always go to Amazon, Goodreads, Tumblr, etc and look up reviews for the book and author! If there’s even one negative review I read it first then go to the rest. 

I look for ‘trigger words’ in reviews or just by flipping pages of the book itself. Words such as (for what I want to avoid in a book): Kabbalah, mixing together wicca and witchcraft as the same thing, sour jars, smudging, totems, white sage, starseed or indigo children, honey jars, voodoo dolls, shifting, claiming magic can cure illnesses like epilepsy or cancer, having ‘control’ over a deity, can cause cataclysms like hurricanes, tornadoes, earthquakes, etc. Astral Projection being for beginners, not suggesting cleansing/protection methods, Atlantian races, ‘sacred feminine’ without the opposite/masculine.

Check the authors social medias/websites! I can’t stress how easy it is to spot someone using hoodoo work like honey jars or (specific) cow tongue bindings when they post all their spellwork on their insta or website. 

Do they have a shop? Check out what the shop sells and where it’s located! A lot of Hoodoo and Vodun appropriators have French Quarter ‘conjure’ shops.

Check their bibliography! Is it decently sized for the amount of pages the book has? Does it seem small? Who have they referenced? Is it someone on your personal no-no list? (A decent bibliography for say a well-researched 300 page book would be about 10-15 pages minimum. A lackluster one would be say 5 pages or less.)

Of those references used in the bibliography...are any of them major problematic individuals? Have they referenced the Frosts? Or other big no-nos? If not, you might be good!

If it’s a small bibliography, flip through and see if any of the information sticks out as UPG (unverified personal gnosis) which means things they can’t verify as accurate? If so it might not be the book you need! (Unless you are looking for personal accounts of something.)

Is the author associated with controversy in other areas? A quick google of “Author name controversy” will likely pull up some results if so. Check over the author’s stances on important matters like race, religion, etc if applicable via their social medias. 

And there you have it! My quick and easy, google-able vetting process that when mastered only takes a few minutes while standing in a bookstore instead of wasting money on books that don't suit what information you are looking for! It isn't foolproof, but it should help you avoid some of the bigger let-downs.

[pomefioredove]

Okay I read the match up thing 3 times so I am 90% sure I'm doing this right. You want a good amount of info right? Well here you go I listed everything I thought of that would describe me and maybe affect a relationship.

Personality

It depends on who you ask but the usual summary is really nice, considerate, sweet, smart and helpful. Also being described as innocent and sheltered because I miss out on social cues, have never smoke or vaped, haven't had a partner or my first kiss, never got in trouble an am not allowed the house without some adult with me despite being 17. I only recently got permission to walk to the seven eleven across the street only with a friend. Despite all this I'm not completely clueless and have a dark sence of humor and a bunch of sarcasm used for comedy and am not bothered by cursing whatsoever in others or myself.

It depends on who I'm with but my attitude can vary like if I'm around people I'm not familiar or comfortable with I get quiet but when I'm with friends and chosen family I can get really talkative especially about my interests, though I am a introvert so any social interaction wears me down.

When it comes to confrontation regarding myself I tend to stay away as much as possible even if something bothers me if it's something I don't see as a big deal to "keep the peace". But when it comes others I'm much more willing to back them up in their confrontation or even confront someone for them if need be.

Alot of people have done those relationship tests on random people and friends, I didn't know what they were until after the test but I apparently passes the orange one?

I've also been told multiple times that I passed the "bird test" but I don't know what that is and haven't had time to Google it because I forget I don't know if it's important but I figured I'd mention it just in cade.

I like giving out random gifts to people I know and go to school with. It's usually something that reminds me of them, that suits their taste, or a craft I made that I thought they would like.

I kinda struggle sometimes with maintaining relationships that I develope in person especially when I'm not seeing them often and can sometimes like dissappear for anywhere from 2 days to a week just randomly with no warning.

Interests

My latest is origami flowers and I like making them and giving random small bouquets to people that would like them or look like they have had a rough day.

Though I love movies and i can eve. Quote and act most of the ones i like and love Easter eggs.

I write a whole bunch two especially for fandoms in involved in and have multiple pages that are dedicated for one fandom that get long 6,000 word stories every week

I love videos games, I wouldn't say that I'm a gamer cause I don't have near enough time committed or games, but I'm really good in combat games like Super Mario and Mortal combat, I also like RPGs, Games like Mr. Tomato and Ms Lemon, I am average at any kind of games like Fortnight because I'm not good at any weapon that needs to aim like guns and arrows when I need to shoot from afar but I'm really good at close combat, and good at being support and can usually manage to stay alive. I'm also really good at board games which I win at alot and card games. I don't usually have much of a temper but with games can get pretty heated sometimes.

I do a lot of crafts, like soap making, candle making, cross stitching and love cooking and baking.

I love reading as well and have been known to go through five books in the span three days

Life Style

I'm usually decent about picking up after myself and my crafts, meaning no trash in my room but because of all my hobbies there is always a bunch of clutter that I'm not bothered by and sort of organize a little to make it look decent keep the peace.

Alot of days I don't have the energy to do much other then watch movies or play video games and just hang around the house most of the time. On the few days I do have to go out that's usually when I get all my work done because I feel more productive getting one to two weeks worth of work done in a day in between talking to people and whatever favors and tasks teachers give me.

At school I'm known as sort of the go to if you need a favor or any help with schoolwork even the classes I'm not in because I have a bunch of ideas, know a lot about random stuff and when I don't know I am able to look up good material to source.

When I come home honey from those days I usually just eat and then go to bed afterwards.

I love warmth, warm showers, warm close and physical affection. I don't get much of that and am a bit touch starved but make up for it with long hot showers and usually sleeping with a heating pad.

I tend to stay up very late most nights and only go to bed at a decent time like 11 when I have to go places the next day. I'm not loud when I stay up though it's usually me listening to music through headphones and writing, reading, or playing games.

I don't know

Background

I've recently realized my childhood was not healthy at all.

My parents were divorced by 5 and because of my dad having custody bur working late night shifts and I was left with my grandmother who homeschooled me. She had Ptsd, depression, and Biolar and should not have been left to cars for me.

I would be screamed at constantly for things that she was stressed about and couldn't control and was repeatedly told the story of my parents divorce ans how my mom legally abandoned me and didn't want me.

She would have random breakdown and panic attacks and every time I tried to console her would tense up and start yelling at me causing me to be really akward now when people get upset.

She constantly guilt trips and gaslight me and my sister even now ans combined with how my dad is a bit of a compulsive liar makes me second guess alot of what people say.

My dad was also a alcoholic and used to constantly pick fights with us, their combined behavior made me really anxious and I realized that I have anxiety because of them, at the time it was so bad I would get mine panic attacks sometimes just at the mention of going to their house. My anxiety was so bad that I threw up alot ans developed a fear of getting sick like that so I stopped eating as much as I should back then leading me to lose 50 pounds.

Now I'm much better, my dad is clean and a muc better person and we have made up but my grandmother is just as bad. My anxiety gets really bad sometimes still and in those days I lay down with my heating pad until I no longer feel like I'm going to throw up. I don't know why exactly but the heat helps. I also have a very crappie memory and can remember basically nothing till age 15 and even then those are spotty.

You probably didn't need that last bit but tldr: I am not completly mentally stable but am willing to learn and grow and change.

(No jack or Leona please I just want see myself getting along with them.)

I match you with 𝐀𝐳𝐮𝐥 𝐀𝐬𝐡𝐞𝐧𝐠𝐫𝐨𝐭𝐭𝐨

The First Impression:

Azul first sees you as a threat to his business. No, really! Here you are, being all nice, offering help and doing favors for the other students for free... it doesn't matter how nice or innocent you seem, he'd be naive to underestimate you.

Why He Fell:

...Well, he's partially correct. You're definitely not as innocent as others take you for, so much becomes apparent when he hears you crack a joke for the first time. But you aren't a liar; the whole "nice and helpful" thing is genuine, and what's more is you're smart; you pick your battles, you avoid getting taken advantage of, and you're actually quite efficient and handy.

So, while you may not be a threat to him, Azul still thinks you're worth keeping around.

You grow closer over board games and long conversations. You're almost as good as him (maybe even more so, but he'd never admit that aloud) and Azul loves a good challenge, after all. Over time you both open up about your pasts and your anxieties, and he begins sharing things he never thought he would be able to. It's a comfortable, quiet sort of thing.

The Relationship:

Azul feels important with you.

Not for what he can do or what he can offer, but because he's him, and you like him (he hopes). The first time you make him a gift, he's genuinely confused. He tries to pay you, and when you don't accept, he spends an entire week thinking of ways to make it up to you. It almost becomes a little tradition, doing nice things for one another.

He's able to carve out multiple times in his week to dedicate to you. Azul is surprisingly good at finding the perfect balance between needing recharge time and needing to see each other, and the structure actually works well. Expect lots and lots of physical affection when you get to that point; Azul has been touch-starved for his entire life, after all, and he'll gladly share warmth with you.

[acaplaya-musings]

Voiceplay-adjacent Visuals - Mele Kalikimaka

Time for the final posts of my 12 Days Of Christmas In July series!

Mele Kalikimaka was released on the 6th of December, 2020, and so far it is the only cover on Geoff's channel that features vocals from someone other than himself, as this features a singing trio known as The American Sirens! I'll talk about them a little more in a bit, but really I'm just keen to start this post, so let's go!

Cute ornament!

Oh and btw this was filmed at "Orange studios", which VoicePlay have used at least a couple times before for video shoots, including for Hoist The Colours!

Given that this was all filmed in an actual studio, how much of this was an actual office, and how much was put together just for the video? I really don't know, but I wouldn't be surprised if there was at least a decent amount of set design courtesy of Geoff and Kathy for this one, so 10/10 for it!

(Don't say it don't say it don't say it-)

Also look at the top left section of Geoff's laptop! It's got a VoicePlay sticker on it! <3 (and yes you can actually buy one yourself!)

So cute! (I'm talking about the Christmas tree of course, what else? 😜😂 )

(Okay but seriously the tree is adorable and I want one just like it!)

Pretty smooth transition!

(Also as if one necklace wasn't enough, now he has another! (I'm kidding - never too many accessories! 😝))

A lot of people in the comments absolutely were loving Geoff's facial expressions in this one, and so of course I gotta highlight them myself! As one commenter simply put it, this is "that look you give when your startled by people singing along with you that didn't know they were there" 😆

Oh Geoff, how I love you 😂

Also, to quote another commenter, "love that his first impulse upon hallucinating is to sing countermelody" XD

Alright, time to meet The American Sirens!

The blonde lady sitting down is Lindsay Flick Cardona, the brunette lady behind her is Alejanda Martinez, and the lady at the back (on the far right) is Rachel Copeland-Evans. I don't really know who Lindsay is (I'm guessing no relation to EJ and Omar? (EDIT: Oh nvm she's EJ's wife apparently!)), but Alejandra and Rachel have both starred in videos for PattyCake Productions! (Also Rachel Copeland had a brief cameo in VoicePlay's Little Mermaid Medley video as the "this one longing to be thinner" individual during the Poor Unfortunate Souls bit).

I've done fanart of this screenshot!

Also another comment I gotta include: "I love Geoff absolutely nailing the face of 'I didn’t realise this was a fantasy i had but i’m not complaining that it’s happened'"

Shoutout to Alejandra who did the choreography for herself, Rachel, and Lindsay for this video, and shoutout to the fact that it looks like it's at least inspired by proper Hawaiian dancing, and it's not just stereotypical hula or whatever! And their outfits are really pretty as well! (I have a teeny bit of experience with Polynesian dancing, which has similarities, from when I was like 11 years old)

Last year I attempted to learn the choreography from this video, and come this December I'm probably gonna try to learn it again! (Any excuse to rewatch it, lol)

"A very merry Christmas tooo-"

"-youuuuuuuu..."

The fancy lights, microphones, and decorations are gone, and so are the ladies, but his green necklace remains!

And the tree has some new ornaments! Was it all just a dream?...

Not a super long post, since it's not a long video, but honestly it's a sentimental favourite of mine, especially since I knew this one since not long after it was released, and it's just a simple, feel-good cover, with a lovely video to boot! (Oh and the fact that it's very applicable to Australian Christmases also helps, lol). Three more videos to go!

[princetofbone]

Summer Studying Tips

As it around the time schools get out for summer, I wanted to share some tips I’ve learned over my many years of doing summer math homework and writing essays for various purposes. I’ve done this enough to know that there are really fucking painful ways to do it and ways that don’t suck nearly as much. Lets get cracklakin!

Timing:

- Ideally you should start early. This post is happening at the start of summer because you should start your studying at the beginning of summer. I like to organize my workload in a bell curve for maximum rest and least amount of cramming at the end. This means that you are starting the summer with a smallish amount of work (to rest and do fun things to reset from the schoolyear), and doing more and more every day as the summer progresses (helps stave off boredom and gets things done), and then start doing less to re-rest yourself so you can be fresh and ready for the next year. All of this while still being finished with no need to cram a bunch of work in at the end of the summer.

- While this is a different aspect of “timing” it is, in my opinion, more important.  Have a set time (or many set times you rotate between) to do your summer work. Make sure this time is not when other people are going to be inviting you to things or when you can hear or see people outside doing fun things. For me, this means at four or five in the morning. I wake up and get as much done as I can before six, then have the rest of the day to relax without worrying about  having to do anything. This method was practically beaten into me, so I kinda hate it, but I can tell my father to go fuck himself and still use tools he forced upon me. I know many people who only work at noon because they like sitting outside in the morning sun and they hang out with friends in the evening. Overall for this one, just make sure that the time you pick isn’t a time where you typically do something because the worst feeling in the world is fomo while studying- it kills nay and all motivation.

Location:

I feel like every study tips post known to man says something or rather about how important location is- and it is super important! Like super super important! but no-one talks about why it is so important. And that good locations for studying depend on who you are and how you do work. I personally struggle to work in cafes because I can hear people talking and I’m nosey as hell. I have friends who can’t work in libraries because the quiet + book noises freaks her out. I can’t work in my kitchen because its nearly impossible for me to focus there. the main things I think about before I try working in a new space are 

1) how loud will it be

2) what kind of noise will it be

3)have I spent time there before doing something else (that my mind will want to do more than study)

4) is it somewhere I have the space to study + internet

5) will I run into someone I know

6) can I be there a decently long amount of time without paying/not paying very much?

7) what is the temperature like

8) what is the likelihood of a kids club showing up

obviously these criteria are different for each person, but they might be a good jumping off place- because it is summer and most kids are getting out of school, avoiding places that will be overrun with them is probably a good idea. In addition, make sure to settle down in a place that is a comfortable temperature and a place where the temp wont fluctuate too much.

Motivation:

I think overall this is the most important thing to keep in mind. It doesn't matter how well you plan out when and where you will be doing your work, it is hell to do if you don’t want to do it. 

I’m not going to tell you to love your subject, but if it is something that you don't like, that feels pointless, and you think it has absolutely no impact on your future, it’s going to be a nightmare to get done. I have no tips for you if you are in this situation.

If you don’t want to do it because it is annoying, but it’s a necessary class that you need to take, that works great! put on some fun music and force yourself to do it. It will suck but if it is part of your major or in any way connected to something you like or are passionate about, follow those connections. For example, I was in this awful writing class last semester. The teacher was bad and there was nothing really to be learned. it was a class i had to take solely for the credits. I decided that I was going to be obnoxious and write every damn essay about corsetry and the patriarchy. I swear to got I have 80 pages of writing about the damn subject. I should be publishing a book at this point. (I was one of my favorite classes that semester bc I had so much fun with the topic)

If you don’t want to do it because it���s hard, buckle up and open khan academy and YouTube. nearly every subject known to man is covered in some level on those two sites, and if that fails, find an alternate textbook to the one you have and see if having two perspectives makes it make sense. 

If it’s something you want to do but just cant force yourself to do and you’ve been scrolling for hours, go brush your teeth, change clothes or take a shower and start trying to do your work somewhere new.

I hope one of these helped, and if you have more ideas/tips pls let me know bc I’m writing this to procrastinate on my own summer work.

[comshipbracket]

Antis DNI

Remember, you are voting for the ship you prefer, not the ship you find more problematic

Propaganda for both ships under the cut.

Spoilers for both medias under the cut

Niffany Propaganda (Abusive Dynamic, Arguably Yandere, Unhealthy Obsessions)

"Tiffany and Nica are just the cutest couple in the Chucky tv series. Tiffany is so in love with Nica that she was willing to kidnap and CHOP THE LEGS AND ARMS off of her just so they could be together forever. Every morning TIffany feeds Nica in bed, dresses her in adorable dresses, and then gags her with a cute pink ball gag so she doesn't scream while guests are over. Later in the series, Nica escapes with the help of Tiffany's two kids, and she becomes obsessed with getting revenge on Tiffany, wanting to torture her for what she did to Nica. I just think they're such an interesting pair and a super fun ship!!"

Seymorin Propaganda (Abusive Dynamic)

Seymorin as very much unwanted and suppressed mutual sexual attraction is an extremely fun dynamic that compliments and highlights the characters' personalities and motivations well. For anyone who hasn't seen Little Shop of Horrors, Seymour is in love with his coworker/friend Audrey, who is in a relationship with Orin, an abusive and sadistic dentist. Seymour lets Orin die to save Audrey from his abuse, and they start dating shortly after that. Audrey uses a fantasy of being a traditional 50s housewife as a coping mechanism for her horrible quality of life, and I swear that this fact will be relevant to the propaganda."

"Some of the other concepts I will bring up in this propaganda might not immediately appear to be relevant to the ship between Seymour and Orin either, but it'll all tie together in the end. Another important consideration is that the lines between subtext that objectively exists in the story and was intended by the writers and stuff that I completely made up aren't even clear to me, and there are substantial gray areas between those two extremes, but it's still a very fun dynamic."

"There is a decent amount of evidence in the text of the play and movie that Seymour believes that Audrey likes abusive guys like Orin, the two strongest pieces of evidence being that (in the play) he tries to impress her by wearing Orin's leather jacket (a week after his death, great going Seymour) and that (in the play and the movie) he states through a metaphor that he wants to be Orin or at least be a guy like him so that Audrey will want him. The line in question is `Gee I'd like a Harley machine, toolin' around like I was James Dean, makin' all the guys on the corner turn green!` and he sings this a few minutes after he saw Orin for the first time. Orin was driving a motorcycle, presumably a Harley but I don't know the difference between different kinds of motorcycles, and he drove off on it with Audrey. Seymour wants to be 'properly masculine' for Audrey like he thinks she deserves and wants and sees Orin as having this masculinity (as symbolized by his motorcycle, a symbol of masculinity, and the reference to James Dean, also a symbol of masculinity) despite his hatred towards him and his abuse of her."

"This is because he is presumably familiar enough with her to know that she fantasizes about being a 50s housewife and living a traditional 50s middle class suburban life, and thus he wants to be a proper '50s husband and provider figure' type guy for her to fit into that life. As this system of 50s gender norms was a breeding ground for abuse ranging from violent domestic abuse to inherent power gaps in romantic relationships, Seymour's sort of adoptive father and model for masculinity was neglectful and arguably abusive, and Audrey has probably been in some kind of abusive relationship for most of the time that he's known her, he believes that abuse is an integral part of this 50s lifestyle fantasy both objectively and from Audrey's perspective. The husband being a provider and protector is also an integral part of this fantasy in his view, and thus he conceptualizes of Audrey's hatred towards Orin and his abuse of her as resulting from Orin's failure to protect and provide for her, thus placing his abuse towards her in an 'improper' context. Despite this, he in a sense desperately 'wants to want' to be properly masculine like Orin and to be capable of providing for ALL of Audrey's desires like she deserves despite being viscerally uncomfortable with everything involved in Orin's hypermasculinity and having an 'inherent nature'/personality that is completely counter to it. He wants this so much that it starts to bleed into 'wanting' Orin himself in a sense despite him in theory only wanting women and in practice being extremely fixated on wanting Audrey to the exclusion of everyone and everything else."

"From Orin's side of things, I like to imagine that he heard Seymour's radio interview and figured out that 1. his girlfriend has a job outside of The Gutter (the way I phrased that is representative of his thought process and not mine, I love Audrey) and 2. Her coworker at that job (Seymour) obviously has a crush on her. This inspired him to go pick her up for a date at her other workplace so that he could show off his control over her to this guy who dares to have a crush on his girlfriend, assert dominance over him, and further prove his masculinity by doing so. And then said guy had the audacity to be cute. Which is incredibly annoying to Orin, because gay attraction (in his view) is feminine and not proper for a REAL man like him. And thus he, with the power of staggering amounts of cognitive dissonance, invites this guy in for a dental appointment so that he can torture and then kill him. Because if he kills him, he won't have to deal with the fact that he derives sexual gratification from him any more (but also he totally doesn't in the first place don't worry about it he's definitely completely straight), AND he can derive sexual gratification from the process of torturing and killing him. And of course someone who is good enough at cognitive dissonance to be completely joyful and at ease while torturing people every day is going to be able to hold these two conflicting motivations in mind without recognizing that something's off there or that his attraction towards his girlfriend's coworker miiiiiight have implications for his sexuality."

[warlordess]

Ooooh mind telling us about the stobin paranoia one? Or the country club meet cute?

Oh gawd, oh gawd; my dumbass critical anxiety (on top of being exhausted after working 32 hours in two days; tbh it's mostly that second thing) kept me from answering this until now.

I do want to remind whoever, including OP, that I don't really have anything more than bare bones synopses for any of the ideas I mentioned. Also, i haven't talked up a thing I've created in so long that I don't know if I remember how.

That being said, another Steddie acquaintance, @ataliagold (go read their Steddie things maybe?? They're very good, gimme just the right amount of yummy whump) asked me about both of these in PMs so I have shared a little bit about each and they liked both concepts a lot, which gave me some courage.

So, anyway, as for the Stobin paranoia fic, which I've wondered if perhaps "paranoia" is too strong a word but eeeh... Basically, it takes place right after Starcourt (maybe like the week following or so). It's pretty well-established that Steve and Robin were still at least a bit high and hopped up on truth serum during The Bathroom Talk, not to mention the memory blurring is probably even more effed up by Steve's 74th concussion in three years (lol... sorta), so Steve gets it in his head that he somehow forced Robin to come out to him and, knowing how important safety is for a hidden queer person, especially in a place like Hawkins, he starts spiraling and isolating from her. He doesn't deserve to have his person if he has to manipulate them into divulging their secrets to him after all, she's far better off without the resident douchenozzle, Steve Harrington, invading her space and privacy and having any intimate (platonic) expectations of their relationship. While he's all in his own head about that, Robin starts coming around to check on him, only to realize she's being ignored. This causes her to eventually start spiraling too - of course the great King Steve couldn't handle being friends with a fucking dyke, of course he would snub her after the smoke and fog cleared and he remembered that she'd spurned his advances, what a load of crock, she should have known better - thus their newly formed super bond starts having holes drilled into it... Anyway, the fic is about that whole misunderstanding and them trying to work through it. I just love that kinda trope 'cause I'm the worst.

As for the Steddie country club meet-cute, it starts off similarly to a couple other fics I've read here Eddie is forced to go straight (financially only) after Reefer Rick is arrested and his supply dries up and the cops have hounded him and Wayne enough times and etc. He ends up employed at the semi-local country club predominantly as a caddy. Decent pay, some tips even, enough downtime while standing on the sidelines and aimlessly following his current client around that he can think up some future campaign ideas... and, early on, another perk introduced is his good-looking apparent coworker (who he unfortunately crosses paths with while coworker is being reamed by one of the more infamous club members). He and Steve pass each other a few more times and begin engaging, closing some distance until it's unfortunately revealed that Steve is NOT his coworker and is in fact closely related to the rich fucker that was seen yelling at him on day one. He had a good excuse for being in uniform that first time but has obviously decided to lie in order to fuck with Eddie every day since.

Well, anyway, those are the general premises of those particular fics. I feel like I gave too much away but also like I didn't really say anything at all. Lol.

[melissa-titanium]

ive already decided all the weapons for the bkids but i am unsure if i should go for 5thgen ONLY for the specifics or just . EVERY MH GAME  which would defintieyl expand my options a bit but theres like........ 500 MILLION Monstesr and therefore 500 M IL L IO N  AR MOR SE TS  and i wouldnt know whatto choose :(

but for the bkids weapons:

egbert: hammer. duh! don’t think i really need to explain this one, but shes the type to go utterly berserk once the monster’s been downed from a stun. has cleared the entire area of mizutsune, theyre all too afraid to fight her (hehe.. me) she lands a LOT of ko’s and is infinitely frustrated by the fact that you need to SHARPEN a HAMMER. WHO NEEDS TO SHARPEN A HAMMER??! ITS A HAMMER GOD DAMNIT

dave: longsword. again, duh! dont think i really need to explain this! anime loser boy, it feels appropriate. he’s the type to waste his gauge on helmbreaker in world and didnt learn till iceborne that theres more than one charge level on it. i haven’t played longsword much so i wouldn’t know a lot of the specifics but i think he would deliberately always go hit the head just to knock everyone else over cause hes a bitch like that :heart:

rose: this one is really tough, im stuck between dualblades, cb, and ig, but i think i have to go for db!

come on. shes totes a db user.

funnily enough she reminds me a lot of the stealth dango dualblades in rise ! i would say she’d use those but i have a feeling she would think they’re too silly.

again i havent played much of dualblades but i think she would be one of the More Sane dualblade players, she doesn’t roll down the backs of monsters that often and makes sure she gets the ACTUAL  most damage out of an attack rather than doing whats cool (same thing with IG cause i know aerial attacks aren’t that powerful! atleast from what ive heard)

jade: lbg and hbg! but dabbles in other weapons (especially hunting horn) as well. she’s one of those insane motherfuckers that sets down an affinity booster and goes ham. decimates the monster in 10 seconds flat then carves like nothing happened. great to grind with, but when you’re really just trying to have fun i feel like she would end up going too fast

anddd for the alpha kids cause i just thought of them

jane: gunlance or greatsword! gunlance is known for poking and.. i guess that’s like forkkind? i LOOOVE gunlance and even though im not really good at it its very fun to play and it reminds me of jane :D AND GREATSWORD!!!!!!!!! it feels like almost every greatsword user (except me im not cool) is either SUPER DERANGED or SUPER CHILL or like... BOTH but not in themiddle. like a combination AND SHE TOTALLY FEELS LIKE IT.  she would fucking KILL with strongarm stance in sunbreak she is the one person in the hunt to land SO MANY KO’S AND PARTBREAKS that it honestly becomes concerning. takes a long time to charge up (she thinks focus is an un necessary skill) but its always worth the wait!

dirk: again with the anime longsword boy. except he’s like..really good atit unlike dave. hes pretty humble about it for the most part but GOD FUCKING FORBID he knocks anyone over (which he does) (alot) . he never says anything but anytime theyre all grinding for decor he is telepathically urging them all to get flinch free just so he wont screw up their attacks. his favorite monster is scorned magnamalo and i should kill him for that but i wont. im nice

jake: hmm hes a toughie! i’m stuck between lance and sns (bowguns go without saying duh) lance is totally a Page weapon but sns is a Jake weapon...... maybe he switches between the two who knows! he tends to over-judge a monsters attack and block too early or too late half of the time and is a corner healer (i think thats the term. the people that huddle off into the corner to heal from an attack while everyone else is in the middle of the battle) but he means well! he does a pretty decent amount of damage but most of his skills are health/defense oriented and he DEFINITELY has earplugs.

Roxy: SWAXE, INSECT GLAIVE OR LIGHT BOWGUN. she hasd so many fucking mods i think either her pc blew up 3 times or she got banned from multiplayer even tho im p sure mods r allowed in multi  . shes specil. she totally got introduced to the series via stories 2 and is the MOST into it out of everyone else on this list. she probably knows how to hunt in every single weapon but just so she isnt flexing she only plays swaxe and ig most of the time.......... she is SUUUPER fun to hunt with

[simionthesilly]

Been posting a lot as of late, funfact tho i like to write! I'm not good at it, belive me- but its fun to and i even make poems! I once wrote one of my schools bathroom wall...ended up traumatizing a ton of ppl tho- srry- anyway heres a little somthin Eliza ran up to her friends, her tight brown bun in her hair coming a bit loose as she ran. Eliza wasn't all that known at her school, I mean sure she had a decent amount of friends but it wasn't that crazy. She made sure to keep a low enough profile to where she wouldn't get picked on or she was popular and had to compete with others. Her group of friends consisted of Zack the groups nerd, Alexis the stereotypical pretty girl, James the groups trouble starter and herself(if she counted). The three friends stood next to the vending machine, James was currently trying to get a free snack bag while Zack tried to explain something about...using physics to get a free chip bag. James wouldn't listen as per usual. Alexis was on her phone, typing away when she looked up to see Eliza running towards the group. ''Ellie!'' Alexis yelled, running to her friend and giving her a tight hug. ''Oh my god, I've had to hear these two bicker about free food for the last hour! Where have you been?!'' Eliza stepped out of the hug, a huge giddy smile on her face. She cleared her throat, straightening out her 'South Dakota State College' shirt. She wasn't from South Dakota, fuck she'd never even been there. But she did enjoy the shirt and she liked college so why not? ''Well...you remember the schools regional academics schoolathon?'' Eliza asked the group, the name getting the attention of James and Zack(James had his hand stuck in the machine). ''Yeah, its a stupidly long name for the schools academics team to compete with one another. It's like...march madness with football-'' Zack explained while James interrupted. ''Basketball, not football, egghead.'' James corrected, trying to sound stoic as his hand was still in the machine. Zack shot James a glare before continuing. ''As I was saying...Its where a ton of smart kids compete, the best one going onto the next round until two are left and then the winner is determined.'' ''Hey, how come you never go to it?'' Alexis asked Zack. ''I mean you're super smart.'' ''Its boring at this point, they change the answers sometimes but usually they just change the wording, its noting special.'' Zack rolled his eyes. ''Yatta yatta, anyways. I participated!'' Eliza announced with cheer. The other three kids looked at her, ''...And?..'' ''And well me and this one kid tied. We both had the same amount of points, 50 and 50.'' Eliza sighed. ''However, they agreed to look back over the footage and see who gets the most points. They already put up the announcements in the lunch hallway! I want you guys to come with me to see.'' She then spoke with excitement. ''oooh, a cliffhanger!'' James chuckled. ''You're life's about to have a cliffhanger when I leave you here to rot.'' Zack looked down at James. ''No! No no no! C'mon egg boy...don't leave me here..'' James pouted. ''C'mon you homo's, I wanna see the results too now!'' Alexis giggled. Zack rolled his eyes before getting some hand sanitizer, walked back to James and used the hand sanitizer to lube up his hand to get it free. And with that the group went off to the lunch hallway, laughing and smiling as per usual. However as they walked Eliza had a sudden feeling, one she wasn't familiar with. One where she felt watched. Hehe thats all for now<3 maybe i'll finish writing??

[onejamtart]

OJT EATS | Murger Han

Being in London, you can get pretty decent versions of almost any cuisine and it's always a lot of fun trying the various types of food you can find. However, one major cuisine that we don't find ourselves craving too often is Chinese food which seems a bit strange considering how much we like Taiwanese food. Regardless, every so often, we do find ourselves at a Chinese restaurant and this week was one of these times; we found ourselves grabbing a quick dinner at Murger Han, a place that claims to be the first authentic Xi-An restaurant in London.

We arrived peckish enough to get the appetizer dish which we figured would arrive quickly (which it did). It was just a small selection of edamame, lotus root and spinach in a sesame sauce. These were pretty tasty and luckily enough to tide our hunger over until more food arrived.

Next up was crispy squid. This is one of our favourite dishes and will pretty much always order it when available. While not the best version we've had, this was very decent. It was crispy and was well seasoned. We'd have preferred slightly bigger bits of squid and maybe a bit less batter though.

Then we had the dish that the restaurant is named after, a murger. Now we hadn't heard of a murger before either but it's also known as a rou jia mo and is a pan fried flatbread sliced open and filled with braised pork belly. This was very tasty; there was a good amount of fat in the pork that kept it juicy and tender and the bread had a little crisp to it coming fresh off the pan.

The other thing we ordered was a bowl of noodles. We're not entirely sure why but it came in a massive bowl so looked like a really small portion but was in fact normal. We got the lamb and cauliflower which in the photo looks dry but did in fact have a sauce at the bottom which you mix into. The noodles themselves were super wide and had a really nice chew to them. The toppings weren't bad but we were more impressed by the noodles themselves to be honest.

All in all, this was a pretty good experience; the food was pretty tasty, especially that murger. However, we still don't often crave Chinese food and if we want a bowl of noodles, I think we'd still rather have a bowl of ramen. Worth a visit just to try that murger though!

Murger Han, 8A Sackville Street, W1S 3DF

Cheers, JL

[landlordrecords]

Films, Films, (TV), Films

The last year has seen all sorts of upset & moving around for me, so (after a strong start to 2023), I haven't watched half as much film & TV stuff as I did in the coupla years previous. However, I'm still chipping away at my Great Lifetime Film Catch-Up list (to be followed by similar for books), with the assistance of streaming location finder JustWatch and, in the last year or so, the insanely good Cully's World of Blackpool, which reputedly holds 100,000 DVDs, generally priced at four for a fiver. As previously, I hadn't seen them unless I say so below.

Eyes Wide Shut (After all the Greatest Ever Vs Total Rubbish, turns out to be a solid bit of stuff, sort of stayed with me a bit without being as full of portent as some seemed to have suggested)

Knives Out (greatly enjoyed this with the missus)

The Watcher (TV series - we also quite enjoyed this)

Charade (Not quite as amazeballs as all the Hitchcock-He-Never-Made press, but well worth a watch)

Dynamite Chicken (tenuously Richard Pryor-connected DVD that had been sat around for about 15 years with me never quite getting to it...quite good in the end, one of those 60s mash-up thingies, all sorts of clips splurged out in a row)

Seven Of One (Ronnie Barker 70s pilots series, from which sprang Open All Hours & Porridge - very good, enough so that I soon after chewed through the first series of Open All Hours, and greatly enjoyed it)

Gregory's Girl (quite good...I wouldn't rush to see it)

Rocky (had started & stopped this previously, due to the mumbliness, but glad I eventually persevered, top movie!)

Henry: Portrait of A Serial Killer (after the fuss had long died down...quite good)

Shaolin Drunkard (great fun...& the Wu-issued DVD actually had a significant amount of decent clips from other related stuff as well, good package)

Stark Raving Mad (rave-heist mash-up DVD that had sat around, again, for about 15 years...Alright! Can't have been too bad, cos a bunch of that pile went straight into my swaps pile in the end)

Gangland (bonkers so-bad-it's-good one with minor Ice T role)

Glass Onion (see Knives Out)

Collateral (decent blockbuster)

Dark Knight Rises (I had to remind myself which one this was...Not at all bad though)

Never Been Kissed (this was just on the telly, but I did actually enjoy it quite a bit in the end!)

Big Momma's House (continuing my soft spot for extremely stoopid comedies...Not quite as much laughing as at White Chicks, but still pretty darn funny in part, provided you leave your brain at home)

Angels With Dirty Faces (solid super-retro classic)

Batman Vs Superman (Yes, quite Crash-Bang-Whallop, but not as bad as people had said, I thought)

Black Bird (TV series - we thought this was really good)

The Chumscrubber (another from the ancient DVD mop-up pile...Again, I did watch it, so it must've been alright on some level, but not a great movie, lots of bad stylistic choices)

Art School Confidential (I couldn't quite remember if I watched all of this originally, so returned to it, & laughed like a drain, great fun)

Shottas (a bit low rent, but a bit different if you like action movies, being genuinely Jamaican-themed)

Fist of the Vampire (a so-bad... one...I did doze off a bit in the middle, but pretty insane, yeah)

The Public Enemy (another super-retro gangster classic)

The Hurt Locker (bit laddish for me really, but very well-done)

The Artist (boss)

The Chaser (Korean action thingie - good stuff, pretty tense)

Spellbound (on the second or third go...pretty good)

Napoleon Dynamite (I gave up on this after a while at first, cos the guy is so unsympathetic, but I guess that's the point...Lots of very funny bits, if you haven't seen it, & pleasantly surreal in a small way)

Blue Remembered Hills (Would have doubtless had more impact at the time. Having known the conceit for decades, it just seemed OKish at this point)

More of Dekalog

Escape Plan (pretty good fun)

A load of shorts by that Cornish guy

Wicker Man director's cut

Dirty Harry (solid classic)

Blood Simple (on the second go - a bit low rent compared to their later ones, but good plot etc)

Raging Bull (I tried the stream & the DVD & still thought the pic was shady, so picked up a Blu Ray cheap in the end, my first, thought it deserved it. Obviously a very good film but not much up my street apart from the peerless boxing ring scenes)

Woman Of Tokyo (super-retro Ozu bit...not as good as the later stuff but worth a look)

The People Just Do Nothing film (we were actually surprised how good this was for a broad Brit comedy film)

Elephant (1989) (absolutely excellent, seems a bit forgotten, glad I tracked it down)

Samurai Cop (probably fairly well as good as people say, in terms of so-bad... ones, although I'd seen so many by the time I finally saw it that it didn't have quite the impact expected)

To Catch A Thief (not bad)

The Asphalt Jungle (this is really good)

Detour (OMG, SEE THIS! The main print kicking around is nearly unwatchable, but I read there was a Criterion or whatever one where they had blended that with a much better print, just to fill in losses, and it is SO much better, & the film is thus revealed to be as good as all the cineastes say. Famously Poverty Row stuff, yet transcending that - storyline is good, actors great for the roles, and...it is all of about an hour & 10 & yet fits tons in. Highly recommended)

Stranger Than Paradise (I'm glad I watched it but I'm starting to realise I'm a bit pickier with which Jarmusch ones I like than I originally thought)

The Bat (another that had sat around on a DVD for years - no classic, but worth a watch, quite nice eerie atmosphere)

Death Wish (really good, I thought!)

School Daze (I got through half of this years ago & had to stop it, with an enormous eyeroll...I felt I had to finish it this time, & tbf I was kinda half-watching it while doing something else, but...I actually quite enjoyed it this time! Weird!)

Sunset Blvd (obvs a classic)

The Crazies (70s OG, not bad considering how low rent it is).

That was Jan/Feb last year...then my Dad had a stroke...Didn't even watch any more til end of March...Friday The 13th (OG...kinda does the job, doesn't it, despite not being very original)

Death Wish 2 (surprisingly not a total disaster after the first)

The Bay season 4 (fairly well dug in with these now, with the missus, set just up the coast)

Bullitt (super stylish)

Junebug (picked it up for Will Oldham, who is barely in it...I thought this was pretty darn good, very different, off-beat stuff)

3 Colours Blue

3 Colours White (realised I had seen White before. Obvs both classics)

Nil By Mouth (I was slightly terrified of watching this, owing to the strength of clips I've seen, but it is all justified in the context of the film, which is a corker, really convincing slice of life, well recommended)

The Honeymoon Killers (sleazoid!)

Rust Never Sleeps

Hukkle (obscure little Hungarian offering I stumbled across...DVD pic is quite poor quality, but great little film, very distinctive)

Get Out (very good)

Yojimbo (classic)

The Pledge (probably not regarded very well or whatever, but I liked it)

Birth Of A Nation (long - had started it sometime before & didn't rewatch that portion, then sorta did other stuff through portions of the rest. We all know the score - deeply controversial but massively important, off the list now!)

This Is Spinal Tap (thought it was time for a rewatch, still extremely funny)

White Chicks (rewatch - same)

Bodies Bodies Bodies (no classic, but very watchable)

Who Killed Captain Alex (rewatch)

Under the Ice (Henry Kaiser rewatch, still beautiful)

The Witch of King's Cross (doc, about some freaky-deaky Aussie woman, good stuff)

Love In the City (intellectual chore)

Meet the Parents (rewatch, umpteen time)

Step Brothers (same, White Chicks down all while a friend staying over at the start of June)

The 6th Commandment (TV series, think everyone watched this)

The Tower (TV series - quite good)

A quite good BBC grime documentary

A really interesting documentary about an ancient Yank crossdressing resort called Casa Susanna

80. Still Life (very good stuff)

81. Inside Man (Lee - rewatch - start of a small season of rewatching ones you are 'meant' to see more than once)

82. Usual Suspects (rewatch)

83. Memento (rewatch)

84. National Treasure (TV series - been meaning to watch this for years, pretty good)

85. The Ladykillers (OG - I don't think I've seen any of these before, should probably watch more)

86. That Steve Coogan Savile TV series, & the Netflix doc (seedy)

87. Psycho (OG - finally!! Very good, of course, & starting a brief season of films reffing the Psycho shower scene)

88. Friday The 13th 2

89. Aerobicide (superior so-bad... movie)

90. Scream (season ends)

91. Astrid (TV series - joyous)

92. Everything Everywhere... (these multiverse things are all somewhat gimmicky, but pretty great to look at)

93. Movie Hoarders (decent enough doc)

94. Vatican Girl (TV series - pretty good)

95. Dahmer (Netflix series - again, pretty good)

96. The Night Agent (TV series - same again)

97. Easy Come Easy Go (lesser-known Elvis film,watched with Diehard Elvis fan My Dad)

98. Death In Paradise catch-up (sorry not sorry)

99. Vera catch-up

100. Ban the Sadist Videos! (good - if dated - video nasty doc)

101. Still Tickin (similar Clockwork Orange doc, from the DVD)

102. Old School (had to eventually watch, as I really like Will Ferrell...not the best one to feature him, but very watchable)

103. Anchorman (second try...some laugh out loud moments, but again not one of my favourite Ferrell Man-Baby ones)

104. Spider Verse 2 thingie (see Everything Everywhere...)

105. The Pez Outlaw (highly entertaining doc on something I was almost totally unaware of)

106. Widows (superior heist shizzle from McQueen, great cast)

107. Texas Chain Saw Massacre: The Shocking Truth (decent enough doc)

108. Blood & Flesh (quite interesting Al Adamson doc)

109. Anatomy Of A Fall (extremely well-made)

[jcmarchi]

Princess Peach: Showtime Review - Unassuming Encore - Game Informer

New Post has been published on https://thedigitalinsider.com/princess-peach-showtime-review-unassuming-encore-game-informer/

Princess Peach: Showtime Review - Unassuming Encore - Game Informer

We’ve played as Peach in plenty of Mario-starring games through the years, but not since 2005’s Super Princess Peach has the artist formerly known as Princess Toadstool been the exclusive protagonist of her own journey. Princess Peach: Showtime is a wholly original adventure with an impressive amount of unique mechanics, but it fails to reach the platforming heights Nintendo has attained with its other characters in the past.

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Showtime’s overall premise is one of the highlights as it creates an aesthetically interesting world that is able to look and play differently from level to level but still maintain a consistent and welcoming style. While visiting a theatre to take in a show, the facility is attacked by the Sour Bunch for reasons that are ultimately unimportant. What is important is Peach is put in charge of returning everything to normal because she happens to be present and capable – a classic Die Hard scenario.

The design of every level leans into the theatre premise with a spotlight following Peach as she progresses, set changes marking new areas, and strings from the rafters being used to make elements look like they’re floating through the air. Seeing what every new stage looks like is fun, even for the repeated themes, but Peach’s costume changes are the primary focus.

Peach has more than 10 costumes that dictate her distinct abilities in different levels and while they are not all winners, they are all at least solid. I particularly like the ninja costume with its breezy combat and goofy stealth abilities, but then there are costumes like the detective that I found laborious to use. Meanwhile, costumes like the dashing thief and the cowboy that function similarly (one casts out a line with a grappling gun, the other casts out a line with a lasso) feel different thanks to the unique levels they are placed in.

The art direction and presentation are well done, but I struggled sometimes with the difficulty. Not because the game is hard – Showtime is an easy game by design – but there are occasions where I found specific jumps or minigames annoying to complete. It plays like a great first game for a new player to potentially enjoy alongside a parent, but there are little pockets where I had to time attacks properly or make a number of timed jumps that felt too hard in the context of the rest of the game. The challenge sits in an uncomfortable middle ground of being too easy for veteran players but not easy enough for rookies. The rewards for collecting coins also underwhelmed. I enjoyed seeing Peach adopt all kinds of different outfits and styles in the levels, but the only option for unlocks with your hard-earned money outside the levels are different patterns for Peach’s iconic dress. I am disappointed there weren’t options for completely different dress styles.

I also got distracted occasionally by Showtime’s performance. I am not a player overly concerned with framerates; I prefer 60 FPS, but will happily take 30 FPS, as long as it is consistent, which is where this game struggles. Showtime hitches occasionally, not often during high-pressure moments, thankfully, but during the moments when you are relaxing in the theatre’s main hallways. It’s a plague the Switch hardware is dealing with more and more, and Showtime is just another reminder that the console is struggling.

Princess Peach: Showtime could be a decent first game for young Peach fans, but longtime Nintendo players looking for the Princess’ equivalent of a quality Kirby platformer will likely be underwhelmed. Stylistically, however, the game is a success and, in typical Nintendo fashion, features an exciting finale. I just wish the difficulty had been more balanced in one direction or the other.

[mpathicoracle]

ok so i havent actually drawn out this place yet, been meaning to, might do it in the meantime while my shitposts about this non-canon boiling isles town of mine get traction. (set it under a Keep Reading for TOH season 3 spoilers). gonna underline places and stuff so its easier to follow along (so i can sketch it out properly later). if anyone wants to attempt at drawing this place tho have at it id love to see dsghgfj i did my best at describing it

but anyways ive dubbed it Harper's Haven, it's known for it's predominant population of Bards, and has what's considered the Bard Coven Center. the Bard Coven Center was once known as the Bard College, and was once a place where both Bard-magic practitioners and Illusionists would attend to further their knowledge, essentially a higher education place for music and arts (INCLUDING THEATER *coughs at illusionists being good at that shit, i.e. Graye*). but when belos took over, he insisted it would be solely for Bards and made it the central location for Bard Coven witches

nowwww another fun thing is that, not only is Harper's Haven a sole location/gathering place for Bards of all genres, it also has a pretty strong population of Construction witches. cuz. yknow. gotta have event staff to make concert spaces as needed

Harper's Haven is located by the left shoulder of the Titan (a good distance away from the arm that belos made rise into the sky. talk about destruction in the nearby area lmfao), but a good enough distance away from the Titan Skull. So during the Day of Unity, they could somewhat see what was going on. and damn was that terrifying. There's a good amount of woods about 2 miles outside of the western side of town, including a good sized clearing...which used to be smaller...like. a lot smaller, but it got bigger thanks to a certain someone (aka my oc, who will be explained in a lotta lengthy detail in a separate post lmfao). Across from the Bard Coven Center building is a 12-story hotel, properly named the Harper's Haven Hotel, but more commonly called Triple H. A Construction Witch by the name of Caric Thorne created the hotel, having been a huge fan of of Bards and their magic (his son, Eran, also being a part of the Bard track at St. Epiderm's...yea he travels a good distance but its worth it, fairly certain Epiderm's has the best Bard track compared to Hexside and Glandus). Caric Thorne and Crane were. Close. sorta. havent rly decided but hey, he's favorable with the Bard Coven as a Construction witch so good enough lmfao. It's not a super giant town, compared to Latissa and Bonesborough, but it's still a decent size, with plentiful of concert halls and locations.

Bard Coven Center and Triple H are right about in the center of town, directly across the street from one another. For some reason Triple H is the only sorta inn/hotel/etc in the entire place. that just means Triple H gets hella good business...and is constantly busy. but eh, worth it. probably why a lot of the Bards like Caric Thorne so much lmfao. He's also super friendly, acts like a dad/grandpa to pretty much everyone. We stan One(1) somewhat elderly Construction witch.

Post-WAD, the Bard Coven Center returned to its origins, but deciding on its new name: Harper's Haven University of Music and the Arts. The aforementioned clearing 2 miles outside town greatly enhanced in size and became a later well-known outdoor concert space, and once a year, starting about 3 months after belos's defeat, it's host to the Bard Collective Charity Concert, an annual gathering of Bard musicians; the concert lasts all day from morning to the middle of the night (and sometimes into the early morning of the next day depending on length of songs...and excitement lmao).

anyway if anyone wants to know more bout Harper's Haven lemme know. look out for the rant about my Bard oc bc theyre a fckin legend and i love them dearly, theyre the reason for the clearing existing (was their practice area at first for Reasons) and donated it for the annual charity concert.