#not SUPER well known but decent enough amount

[navydoves]

Mermaid!Rafayel and his strange habits while in heat.

❥ He has a lot of cycles… all of which you have to suffer through.

✎ᝰ a/n. alright, rafayel is our starter for this sister series! i hope people enjoy this series as much as they did the “affectionate habits” one. if you want to be tagged in the next updates for this series, pls lmk i will be happy to. the other lis are:

- bunny xavier, cat zayne, dragon sylus, and cyborg/puppy caleb (i have to choose for caleb)

enjoy!

affectionate habits ver.

࣪𖤐

❥ he hisses! no more chirps or chitters, rafayel cannot stop hissing at everything around him. it’s not even just other men or women, it’s also like… coral reefs and amoebas. the hissing is rather loud and a bit scary, but he never does it to you. no, rafayel’s hisses are a way to ward off others in order to protect you. even if those “others” are passing crabs.

the first time rafayel started doing this you thought he was mad at you and this was his way of expressing it. you would recoil at the sound and then try and comfort him so you could figure out what you did wrong. but as soon as rafayel notices you’re upset, he immediately brings you into an embrace and reassures you that it’s not you. it’s the seaweed next to you, babe.

although when it comes to actual people, rafayel will get even louder in his hisses. he genuinely hates the idea of others being with you when he needs the most attention now. he thinks everyone’s out to get a piece of you and his anger only tells you he would never hesitate to hurt or kill those who get too close.

❥ he pins you constantly. it’s no secret rafayel is concerningly strong, but his muscle mass and strength become more prominent during his heat. by no joke, he will pin you with an index finger and leave you helpless writhing. but that’s precisely why he likes doing it. he really enjoys seeing you submissive and struggling underneath him, even if he’s not gonna do anything.

but most of the time… he is gonna do something. the whole point of his pinning is so he can keep you still as he going ramming into you from every position. his thrusts are deep and strong, so you need to be kept still or else you’re gonna go flying out the sea. he’s rough when he’s in heat and he’s practically training you to take his force because… well who else is gonna help him? only you can, no matter how much smaller and weaker you are.

❥ he speaks in lemurian. about half of the time rafayel spends in his heat he spends speaking to you in tongues. his heat is so instinctual that he can’t help be speak his native tongue even if you can’t understand him. he’s pawing at you, growling and begging right up in your ear until the entire tone of his voice changes. suddenly you’re hearing words you can’t make out in low pitches that make you shudder.

knowing he needs you is hot enough. but not knowing what he’s gonna do to you is even hotter. all the dirty talk he’s probably saying in your ear as he bend you over a rock and presses his 12 foot form against you gets you going. overtime you’ve learned a few words here and there… kind of. you know the words he says when he’s satisfied and or about to come, but you don’t actually know what they mean. you know the words he uses when he’s threatens you (not actually, just sexually) to come help him.

he’ll switch back and forth between his two languages unconsciously, especially in the heat of the moment. but if you’re being honest… you kinda want him to swoon you in lemurian all the time.

❥ he cries a lot. i think it’s well known that rafayel can have major mood swings sometimes, and his heat makes this a lot worse. while he is rough and claiming a good decent amount of the time, he’s also super emotional when you’re not around. he’ll curl into seaweed beds or alcoves to sob and whimper because he doesn’t have his darling with him. he’ll especially throw a fit if his heat becomes painful and there’s no outlet for him to use.

it’s a very sad sight to see. pearls come floating out of his eyes because he feels so lonely. his biology is telling him to give his body to his beloved, but if she’s not here or can’t, then it physically pains him. he’s physically bonded with you and can’t even think about using anything or anyone else to help him with his heat. the best he can do is stimulate his two cocks in private to best simulate what you might feel like, but it’s never ever enough.

❥ his cocks are always out. usually there’s a slit on the forefront of his tail where they retract and hide away until necessary but during his heat… well they’re just kinda always there. and it’s not because rafayel can’t put them away, it’s just that he doesn’t want to. at first you though maybe it was just a biology thing. cocks always out? right makes sense, he needs them constantly. but you learned from him that no… he just likes having them out with you around.

it’s for convenience sake. any sudden surge of horny he gets, no time is wasted getting those things out. he’ll immediately have you on your back with his floater friends ready to penetrate. they’re never soft either… they’re always just kinda hard and slick. while the sight is maybe a little bit amusing, it’s also impractical. you can’t sleep next to him without having to make room for his long schlongs. you can’t graze against them accidentally unless you want to be spurted with strange lemurian liquid. you can’t look at them for too long without rafayel getting incredibly horny and wanting to fuck you.

at some point you asked him why he doesn’t just put them away until they’re needed, but he insists on having you admire impressive his assets.

❥ he’s really obsessed with baby-talk. give him the benefit of the doubt, he’s in heat. while regular, normal rafayel isn’t too keen on the idea of babies, lemurian, in heat rafayel loves them. he massages your tummy and imagines his little seedlings in there. he doesn’t let himself come anywhere else but inside you in hopes of getting you pregnant. he’s constantly playing with your breasts in hopes that you’ll magically start milking.

the biology won’t allow it and rafayel knows that, but his brain is too muddled with ideas of you becoming a mother to his children. while he is no doubt aggressive in his heat, the heat itself is a biological purpose used for only mating. and lemurians mate for life. there’s no one else. so be honored <3

࣪𖤐

[sleepingdeath-light]

various cookies vs no nut november ; 18+

requested by ; cookie simp anon (event)

fandom(s) ; cookie run

fandom masterlist(s) ; hub | epic | super epic

character(s) ; clotted cream cookie, crunchy chip cookie, wildberry cookie

warning(s) ; sexually explicit content, various characters failing the ‘no nut november’ challenge

minors and ageless blogs will be blocked

clotted cream cookie

wouldn’t participate of his own accord, but would certainly rise to the challenge if you asked him to give it a go after you started dating — he’s not overly optimistic nor overly pessimistic about how he thinks he’s going to do, hoping to make it through the whole month but knowing himself and his needs well enough to recognise that there’s a very solid chance that he won’t get through all thirty days

does encourage you to participate with him for the fun of it, but if you opt out then he won’t mind too much — of course he may tease you a bit at first for wanting him to ‘suffer’ alone, but he doesn’t actually mind and instead just lets you know that you will be on your own for a while because he knows good and well that he won’t be able to get you off without losing the challenge himself

either makes it through to december with only a few near-misses (more likely if his november schedule is packed and you’re not trying to get him to break) or he crumbles at some point between the start of week two and the middle of week three (if you’re being an awful tease and he doesn’t have his work to hide behind as a distraction)

and whether he loses to his fist in a moment of weakness in his home office — all gritted teeth, bitten lips, muffled grunts, and a tight grip around his aching cock that has him cumming all over his dress pants in a shamefully short amount of time — or to you in the most private area you could find at the time is entirely down to you and how much you want to tease him (surprising him at home in little to no clothing, or one of his shirts/blazers with nothing underneath, is a pretty good way to have him straining against his slacks and ready to throw in the towel)

so, yeah, clotted cream cookie does do pretty well and makes it decently far into nnn but he will inevitably lose as he predicted… but, hey, at least he’s self aware about the whole thing

crunchy chip cookie

very much so did not want to participate because he thought the whole idea was dumb as hell, only agreed under the threat of a two month long sex ban if he didn’t at least try to make it through november — makes it known constantly just how unhappy he is about the whole thing and how he can’t wait for the month to end

does actually give it a go and does really well, having a few near misses every now and then but pushing onward out of spite just to prove you wrong after you said he wouldn’t make it

(and don’t even think about teasing him because he will make you regret it — he can be pretty mean when he wants to be and he will edge you for hours with his fingers until you’re weeping and sobbing out apologies and promising to be on your best behaviour for the rest of the month)

fumbles at the last hurdle and ends up losing like only an hour before the end of november — granted that’s basically already a win and he didn’t really care for nnn in the first place so he isn’t even remotely upset about technically losing the challenge you damn near bullied him into participating in

and it’s not like you have the brain capacity to tease him about his last second loss when crunchy chip cookie’s dick is buried so deep inside of you that you’re seeing stars behind your eyelids and so cock-drunk that you’re practically talking in tongues…

so the two of you end up counting it as a win anyway because what difference does one hour make?

wildberry cookie

doesn’t necessarily see the point in nnn but will participate if you ask him to — partially to test his own self restraint and partially because, for as stoic and serious as he can be, wildberry cookie just cannot say no to you so the second you give him those puppy-dog eyes and say the word ‘please’ he was already done for without you even needing to explain the premise of the challenge

actually makes it through the whole month without fumbling and manages to make nnn look deceptively easy in the process — but make no mistake he was struggling quite a bit with not being able to make love to you and found himself having far more cold showers than usual in order to clear his mind and chase away his arousal at multiple points (more frequently later in the month but he still had his moments in the earlier days of november)

if you opt out of participating then he insists that you let him take care of you with his mouth and hands, putting your needs and wants well above his as always and assuring you each and every time that he doesn’t mind and that he truly does love helping you — even if the taste of your spend/slick on his tongue, the scent of your body, and the warmth of you around his fingers is more than enough to leave him lightheaded, hard, and in need of a cold shower to clear his mind afterwards

teasing him will get him visibly hard and flustered but it won’t get him to break — wildberry cookie’s resolve is borderline unbreakable so there’s no way to coax him into fucking you into the bed until december comes around and the challenge is over

if you choose to participate with him then he’s going to be so encouraging and so good at keeping you on track even if you get really tempted to stumble — wildberry cookie adores you and wants to help you succeed in all aspects of life, after all, and that includes silly things like nnn

or, in other words, wildberry cookie will succeed with flying colours while also managing to help you get off throughout the entirety of november — what a man!

[danieyells]

How do you think Frostheim timeline looks like, for now? Currently we have third-year Jin, third-year transfered Thoma, second-year Kaito, second-year Luca (international student).

There's also many people who transfered from Frostheim, like Yuri, Haku, Romeo...

I was just curious, how well do all of them probably know each other, and if some of them probably knew each other as ghouls of the same house.

Timeline. . .starting from two(almost 3 now i guess) years ago, Jin as the constant,

Jin

Jin, Haku(beginning of second year; clementia transfer), Kaito(first year), Yuri(first year)

[during or shortly after the Clash] Jin, Haku, Tohma(second year; vagastrom transfer), Kaito [Yuri transferred to Mortkranken shortly before Tohma transferred in]

[shortly after the Clash] Jin, Tohma, Kaito [Haku transferred to Hotarubi]

[now] Jin, Tohma, Kaito, Luca(second year; Emrys Academy transfer)

For everyone's relationships. . . .

Jin and Yuri were very close. Jin looked after Yuri, they have the same tastes in music and similar standards in terms of the respect with which they should be treated. They must have bonded very quickly or maybe known each other beforehand. Then Whatever Happened Happened and they both feel that the other betrayed them/sold them out, Jin lashed out violently, Yuri got scared, Tohma swooped in to help him transfer out of Frostheim despite the rule that you can only transfer starting from second year.

Jin and Haku. . .Haku was only there for like a year. And we don't really know why exactly nor to what effect--although we can guess--so it's hard to say how close they were. I think Jin was more personable before the Clash and before The Incident With Yuri so they may have at least been on decent terms, or seemed like it.

Jin and Tohma don't know each other super well, at least not on a personal level. . .? Rather, I think they know each other very well at this point--but they're mostly very at arm's length at the same time. Trying to keep it professional. In their first year we know Jin tutored Tohma sometimes, and during the Clash they were in conflict until Tohma switched sides. I think Tohma knows Jin more than Jin knows Tohma--he has to, for his goals, after all. Jin doesn't trust Tohma--he's been betrayed and abandoned over and over and Tohma comes from the enemy side saying he wants to swear fealty to him? Sus. But I think they're working things out now.

Jin and Kaito sort of know each other at arm's length but not personally. However Kaito always stays on top of gossip and what's going on around Darkwick despite wanting to stay out of any issues and trouble and drama--the picture of "I don't wanna be involved but I still wanna hear about it" lmao. So I think Kaito knows more about Jin than Jin knows about him--then again, Jin is kind of a big deal so of course he does. Jin knows Kaito is there, probably has done some research on him, but doesn't really know him personally at all.

Haku and Kaito, again, Kaito prefers to stay out of everyone else's way. He definitely knows a decent amount about everyone and what's going on, although he doesn't express it because it'd be a Situation. But he probably knows less about Haku than Jin. Haku probably doesn't know a ton about Kaito either. They're both friendly enough that they probably talked here and there and maybe Kaito was like. Well Haku's a nice guy everyone knows Haku is nice and Clementia students are chill. And Haku probably pities Kaito tbh. Clearly doesn't like being a ghoul. Clearly wants a normal life. Doesn't fit in at Frostheim. Doesn't want in the conflicts. He can relate, he also wants to take it easy.

Kaito and Yuri most likely knew of each other but Yuri was doing experiments in Frostheim too so Kaito was definitely too scared of him to engage much lmao. Yuri would have loved to experiment on Kaito but ah he's a very fast runner and Yuri is. . .not someone for physical activity. On top of that Yuri would have looked down on him for being so unintelligent in comparison to him and making Frostheim look bad and Kaito would just. Not want any part of that. Shaming Kaito won't make gen students like Yuri more and it won't change anything for Kaito so. . .no need to engage.

Yuri doesn't really know Tohma at all and while I'm sure he's glad he got his help getting out of Frostheim before Jin cut his head off and all I'm sure he finds it suspicious and. Rude? Unpleasant? That Tohma's basically taken his place. On the other hand, he doesn't want that place anymore anyway(sortakinda) so whatever! Let the brute pretend he's a gentleman. Tohma knows more about Yuri than I think Yuri knows--again, examining his options and who'll be the most effective to take advantage of in any situation is kind of part of Tohma's whole scheme I think. Though I don't think it's malicious. He saw an opportunity and he took it. Yuri thinks it's classless but expects no less.

Yuri and Haku. . .honestly I'm not sure. I think Yuri would take an interest in Haku and the lifting of curses and how it all works on a scientific level so he can understand how to heal people y'know? And Haku would probably feel like it's a whole hassle to try and teach him lmao. . .Yuri trying to study Haku who laughs it off and maybe flirts with him a bit especially because it might scare him off a little.

Haku and Tohma we know don't get along. Tohma finds Haku suspicious and untrustworthy. Haku doesn't seem to have any ill will or distrust towards him. But since when would Haku show such a thing if he did have it? I think part of why Tohma transferred to Frostheim was because he worried how Haku would influence Jin. Contrasting plans or values. They both work closely with Darkwick but that may mean they don't really trust each other in a sense--they know or suspect each other's values perhaps, or their values are in conflict. . . .

And Luca. . .well we know his current relationships with the rest of Frostheim. Determined and persistent and stubborn and hard-working, but frequently gets ahead of himself in his quick judgements which sometimes results in mistakes and problems. Jin and Tohma see potential in him but he has a lot of growing to do that they can't do for him. But also they're not too focused on him--they have their own problems to worry about. Kaito is his closest friend here and, while Kaito doesn't really like his enthusiasm(or rather what he chooses to be enthusiastic about) they're very close because Luca actually treats Kaito with kindness and friendliness. Shows him that not every rich Frostheimer is some frosty, stuck up, selfish asshole.

Romeo was never in Frostheim--I think that he wanted to be in Frostheim/associated a lot with Frostheim at first but the Frostheim general students didn't take kindly to him and he dipped, probably sometime after Yuri did. If he were in Frostheim, Kaito probably would have seen him more recently than half a year ago. He was close enough to Yuri/Frostheim that he remembers Yuri leaving Frostheim in tears. But Kaito rarely saw him until the Casino opened, so they probably didn't cross paths all that much. If Romeo associated with Frostheim it was probably with First/Second Year Jin And Friends though, so their spaces wouldn't overlap much. And since we don't know what side Sinostra was on during the Clash(or if they were neutral) we don't know if he stuck around then.

I think that about sums it up? :|a we have no reason to think Luca's met Haku just yet(seen him in passing yes, probably heard of him, but not really formed any sort of relationship--probably doesn't think highly of his lackadaisical and flirtatious nature but would apologize for the quick judgement when he realizes how hard he works) and he seems to have a neutral-positive perspective on Yuri since he trusts him as a medical professional and an expert. (Yuri probably doesn't know what to do with that--a Frostheimer? Respecting him!? A-as he should! Of course!! The others could learn from Luca!!)

I think that about sums up what we know.

[pianocat0-0]

Got Murdered Yet Somehow Gained Spouse

Jiangshi (Self-proclaimed Husband) x Reader

Part 2

Tw: Mentions of bloody animal meat, implied murder, brief hatred towards Manchurian people (this is just to be historically accurate on the views of the Han people, in no way am I trying to say that you can be racist. I could talk more about it, but basically Manchurian people ruled the Qing dynasty and a lot of Han people did not like them.), breaking into someone's house, delusional ass bitch

(Don't have really good ideas so I'm gonna go with urban legends cuz idk it's cool-)

Jiangshi specifically. I don't think not a lot of people don't know about the creature outside of like asian countries so here's the explanation (brought to you by wikipedia) : It's like a zombie, but it can also suck your blood. So a vampire zombie. It's known to hop around, but personally all the stories I've read they can like run- so whatever you want to interpret that as. They're known to wear clothes from the Qing dynasty, the most recent dynasty (1600s-early 1900s).

There's a lot of causes to how a body can reanimate but I'm going just to list the ones I think make sense to what I'm writing about: The use of supernatural arts to resurrect the corpse; Corpse absorbs enough Yang Qi (Positive life energy); the corpse can also com eto life if the person who has recently died still have their soul in their corpse.

Appearance: Like I mentioned before Qing dynasty clothes are what's the most commonly seen with any media adaptation. This also goes with the hairstyle. They're known to have like dead skin, so I personally headcanon like a pale grey colour. They'll also have like a yellow tag with red writing attached to it, a tailsman. I think it's super cute becuz it's always attached to their hat in the front so they can see as well.

Skills: They're super powerful, and driven by hunger they're like feral dogs. So they're like definitely scary since they can run too.

(Now that the brief explanation of what they are is out of the way, here's the actual story)

(Did I just use my grandpa's name cuz I'm lazy? Yes. Thankfully we use a lot of the same characters as Chinese)

——————————————————

Yiguang was just one of the many assistants under the emperor. Even if he had a fairly good government position after passing his exams, he was incredibly unhappy. For two reasons: the Manchurians and being alone.

Who were they to run the throne? As far as he knew, they were nomadic. Why are they running the biggest empire in the hemisphere? Regardless if they had power or not, the Han people had their own spot in their nation.

Yiguang was a smart man. Hence why he managed to get such a government position even if he was a peasant. He was an excellent writer and knew his boundaries. Hence why he worked for the Board of Punishments. Any criminal got their fair punishment under his word, other than maybe his boss.

Despite making a decent amount of money, he didn't have anybody by his side. His parents would constantly complain that there was no point in being wealthy if there are no heirs. Except he had specific standards. He just hadn't found anybody that caught his eye. So he continued on with his job, writing out sentences left and right.

One night, when he was on the way home after working much later that he usually does due to a destructive criminal, he decided to stop by at a restaurant. He didn't feel like cooking. As he stepped in, there was a banquet of some sort going on beside his table. It was loud, but he didn't pay it no mind. Ladies were singing and dancing while men drank themselves to sleep.

Yiguang simply ate his meal, only thinking about his schedule tomorrow. He was gonna have to meet a lady, one his parents managed to schedule a date with. Regardless, he hated it. As far as he knew, she was stupid, and knew no value of things other than her father's money pouch.

He found stupidity unattractive.

After he finished eating he left, deciding to take a more scenic route home. A slighly extra walk, but nothing he couldn't handle after sitting all day.

The path passed by a few taoist temples, forgotten after the increased oppression from the government. They were still nice to look at, even if some parts of the building were crumbling. He eventually decided to loiter and step into one.

They were all sorts of statues and incense pots, but that didn't interest him, so he walked further down the hall. Eventually he came to a small praying area, with a small statue. He stared at it, confused by its appearance. It was a statue of Yue Lao, the deity of love. Except half of his clothes were scratched off, leaving the stone underneath behind.

Scratched by a beast of some sort.

Yet he ignored and decided he would pray to Yue Lao. He wasn't the most religious, but it wouldn't hurt to pray for his high expectations to be fulfilled. He saw some incense lying around on the floor, but there was nothing available to light it, so he decided to just hold it in its raw form as he prayed.

A few seconds after, he decided to stick the incense into the abandoned pot, and stood up. Just as he was about to leave, the air felt slightly cooler. He turned his body away from the statue, and took a step. He then felt a gust of air, and blue cloth fluttering in his peripheral vision.

Huh?

Why was his body just lying there beside him? Where's his head?

.

.

.

Oh.

——————————————————

It was a crisp spring day, the breeze ever so slightly cold enough to make a person shiver. A ship crew were loading cargo for a ship heading from the Eastern Coast to several destinations. One of the men grunted as helped carry over a delicate red, wooden box to the platform.

The box had no label, no destination, just a tag that said 'fragile ancient artifacts inside'. The men didn't pay no mind to it as they continued to haul more objects onto the ship.

Soon the ship was off, heading onto its long journey.

Too bad no one paid attention to what was inside the box. there was a damaged statue of Yue Lao, and underneath some cloth a body lay there. The Qi slowly swirling around the corpse, making its heart beat once more.

——————————————————

Thunk.

Yiguang woke up at the sharp pain, gasping as his lungs took a few raspy breaths. His lungs felt stuffy, as if they hadn't been properly working for eons. He sat up from his bed, glancing around.

He was in a forest, the leaves yellow and orange, a few birds chirping at him. Why was he in a forest? Last he remembered he was on a pathway home...

He stood up, and look behind him. He saw a read box, with several layers of cloth underneath. The cloth was a light teal colour, stained with a crimson ink of some sort.

He hissed in pain, he leaned his neck to the side to crack it. Ow. It hurt way more. He stretched his body for a bit before noticing that his skin looked sickly. Too pale to be recognizable. He blinked before feeling his neck pop.

Just like he felt his face hit the dirt. He groaned. His body moved forward, and picked his head up. Picked his head up. It wasn't supposed to be like this.

He tried to curse a Yue Lao, leaving him with a weird phenonom while he was still alive. Yet his body felt a sharp flash of pain creep into his very being. Was he being cursed?

Why did he feel so hungry? Like he craved warm meat, and some blood.

His body moved on its own as it started to run, stumbling through the woods like a maniac. It was late at night, the moon gracing him with its moonlight. He let out a hiss as he tried to locate prey. He never felt so animalistic before. It felt humiliating, but at the same time exhilirating.

This was the first time his life hadn't been flooded with rules and writings.

He continued to dash through the forest, his jade and red wooden beads fluttering around his neck as he continued to travel through the forest.

He ran and ran, until he came to a house. The light wasn't on. He wondered why his body brought him to such a place. He let out a coo of joy as he hopped into the fenced area. He sniffed the air, trying to locate a scent. There was nothing recent for him to snack on.

He scratched at the door, trying to get in. He decided to simply barge into it. Once it fell, he scrambled in, breathing heavily as he searched through nearby shelves and cupboards.

Eventually he arrived to a place that seemed to be kitchen. Except what were all the weird rectangular metal boxes? This was not a kitchen he was familiar with. He then saw his prize awaiting on top of one of the metal boxes.

A juicy, slab of meat.

He snatched it away from the surface it was resting on and took a huge bite out of it. It was cold. The middle still dense and firm. He chewed it easily though. His sharpened teeth allowing him to maneuver the meat down to his stomach.

He felt much better.

He decided he would learn more about these strange functions before him. He saw one with a weird hanging metal arm. He could see a few levers beside it. He decided to hit it.

Water immediately blasts out, and he shrieks. The kind a threatened animal would probably make.

He did not like this contraption whatever it was. He hit the other lever, and the water seemed to only burst out faster. So he continued to hit either lever until it stopped. A demon this contraption was. It's so dangerous for anyone. Who would have such a machine in their home? It needed to burn and die.

Just as he calmed down a bit, he heard a scream.

He turned his head. Another person stood not far from him, their bag forgotten on the ground. They looked pretty. He could smell their scent from afar. For some reason, the scent was wonderful. Like a love potion made just for him. He couldn't help but purr and pounce at the person.

——————————————————

You had just arrived home from a long day of work and founded a strange man sitting in your kitchen, playing with your sink. Not to mention the beef you were defrosting no longer there. You couldn't help but let out a scream as you saw his strange twitches and sharpened teeth.

"G-Get out! I'm gonna call the police if you don't!" You get out your phone as you trained your eyes on him. As you took a better look at him, you note that his clothes weren't modern at all. They looked like something for a cosplay or a historical image of some sort. The fabric looked old, but of high quality.

He even had several necklaces. The famous jade material too. You saw a yellow tag hanging in front of his face. You recognized the writing. Some form of Chinese.

Before you could even talk to him once more, he let out a purr and tackled you, knocking you to the ground. He nuzzles your neck and jaw, hugging you. Your body could feel slight pain. He was way too strong to be human. You panic as he spoke in a raspy voice, "Mate...where have...been?"

His voice sounded like it hadn't been used in years, or just severely dehydrated. Either way why was he snuggling you? This was creepy.

You tried to shove him off, but he only held on tighter. His claw like nails combed through your hair as his cold skin pressed against yours harder. He let out a huff as he started to drag you to the living room. He lifted his body away from yours, before running out the door like nothing happened.

You lay there in absolute shock, flabbergasted because of what happened moments before. So you just laid there to process everything.

——————————————————

You were tucked in bed, ready to fall asleep. When you bedroom door flew open, and the same man stood, his iris and pupil completely black as he carried a slab of meat in his mouth. He let out a purr, before holding a broken plate. He let go of the food, and let it sit on the plate before hopping over to you.

He held out the plate like a proud man. Like he had just achieved something wonderful. You could make a grimace in disgust as you stared at the raw, bloody meat. "Please get out of my house-"

He hissed. He set down the plate on your bedside table before burrowing himself into your bed. He let out a few chirps and grunts before shoving you into his chest. Once against suffocating you with his strength.

"Eat...mate."

He seemed to stare at you with eager eyes; hoping for you to eat what he hunted for you. Providing for you. Oh, he's just so elated that he finally found his person. Even if he's dead, he still go what he wanted most. Now all he has to do is to make sure they're taken care of. He's going to be such a good husband.

"Eat..." He insisted once more. Loosening his grip as you sat up. He made a little smile, equivalent of a doggy wagging his tail. Except he's an undead being.

You wanted to gag as you saw the grotesque sight before you. You needed to get this creature out of your house.

——————————————————

Yue Lao what the fuck did you do?

——————————————————

(I'm 100% writing a 2nd piece that details more about like his behaviors he does with his new form/home but I'm gonna end it here for now just so I can get something out)

(I know this isn't NSFW [becuz I would get banned if i did] but I still think it should fall under the monsterfucker category just because it is in fact a beast so- yeah. Please don't cancel me lmao)

(Lowkey running out of ideas so if anyone wants to drop something in my inbox as a request or just to talk about some possibilities I'll happily receive it)

- Celina

[yokowan]

hi! your writing on aerospace and venture capital was very interesting, thank you for putting it out there! i'm curious how spacex plays into the dichotomy of private firms rejecting integration testing and subsequently wasting more money than if one followed the proper procedures, since i've heard that the company has a substantial market share / is developing unique and relevant technology while leaning into the same "move fast and break things" approach. is it just... subsidized / popular enough to absorb the losses?

tldr: spacex has a combination of factors working for it, but the only reason they can tank the losses is because they're very good at operating a hype machine

they weren't always this insane. in 2009 spacex was moving at a pretty fast pace for aerospace relative to other companies, but it was quite measured compared to their current state. falcon 1 was an incredibly simple rocket, basically just a technology demonstrator. even then, they were 1 failure away from bankruptcy before they finally got a success. this is commonly told as an underdog success story but somehow it does not inspire as much confidence in me as you'd think :p

when they started making falcon 9 it was, once again, an extremely simple rocket. sure, they had big plans for it, but falcon 9 v1.0 was built on extremely dependable, well known technology. they hired good engineers, took their time with development, and used reliable, existing tech. from then on, they just built on it very slowly. they changed one thing at a time.

the real thing that lead to their success at the time is that none of the things they were developing interfered with the core capability of the rocket. like, none of their customers were relying on the fact that they wanted to land the rocket on a boat. it's going to crash in the ocean anyways. might as well do landing attempts. the cost for failure there was basically nothing. falcon 9 succeeded so incredibly because they built a decent regular rocket, added features onto it, and got their testing for free-ish from launches they were doing anyways.

the current era of spacex dawned when elon musk realized that he could run a business on hype alone. slowly but surely, he started promising more. way more than his company could deliver. they could sell absolutely insane amounts of total horseshit based on spacex's reputation alone. they built falcon 9, after all. that means they can build anything!

and sell it did! remember when starship was called the Big Fucking Rocket, and was supposed to be a 100m tall composite hulled structure capable of putting 300 tons into orbit? remember how it was supposed to be bringing people to mars in 2022? remember how none of that happened and everyone just forgot? that shit! that's how spacex has operated post 2017

that whole strategy is to drum up hype with obviously impossible promises and get all the redditor temporarily embarrassed billionaire types on board by being super memey about it. and it worked! by 2020 their valuation was exploding (much like starship teehee) and it has not slowed down since

^^^ this is what selling piles of hot bullshit did for spacex. and if anyone says starlink fuck you starlink just barely broke even last year and only thanks to the US military.

and when i say it's bullshit i mean it's bullshit. if you trust elon musk's twitter as a primary source (most spacex fans and investors do), starship's planned payload capacity fluctuates by like. 3x depending on how many times he's texted his ex wives that morning. they miss scheduled deadlines for test flights and static fires so often that people joke about them being scheduled on "elon time" and somehow don't realize that this is a bad thing. every time a starship explodes it's lauded as some great achievement because if they ever admit failure, the hype will die out.

they're not just doing agile to rockets! this isn't changing requirements as new information becomes available. this is changing requirements whenever the billionaire dipshit feels like it! the poor engineers working for spacex are working insane crunch schedules just to keep the hype train moving. they need to constantly crank out impressive looking results to keep investors excited, even if they're not actually moving towards a goal. i've heard so many stories from spacex employees that they find out about changes to starship design requirements or test times from elon's twitter. it's fucking insane.

and spacex never stopped improving falcon 9! it kept being a pretty good rocket. they made incremental improvements to payload capacity and reusability. dragon became the workhorse of the US's transportation to the international space station. but that's not what they make the news for. that's not what they got their TWO HUNDRED AND TEN BILLION DOLLAR VALUATION for. no. they got that for making promises they can't keep.

this rant doesn't even touch on COTS/commercial crew. if i did it would end up being about five times longer. god help us all.

[cecilscribbles]

hey there billford fan!!!!!! do you like:

- religious symbolism

- fictional government corruption

- slutty, slutty toxic yaoi??

if any of these resonate with you, you could be entitled to financial compensation should check out my super awesome billford-centric gravity falls au!!!!!

the "none of this is in the bible" au - introduction and lore ✨✨

it's kinda like good omens if it was rewritten by someone who had never watched good omens and knew nothing about good omens except it had angel x demon yaoi

lore is rrrriiiiight under here 👇 ive kept it brief i prommy

‿̩͙⊱༒︎༻♱༺༒︎⊰‿̩͙

starting off with our protagonists:

staphiel

🪽 staphiel (our stanford) is an archangel; low down in heaven's hierarchy, and close to the material realms.

🪽 he's fundamentally different to the other angels, not just because of his iq or his fingers, but because he's so much less faithful than them. this is mainly because of his logical, analytical disposition (he's less likely to believe things at face value, no questions asked), and his position in heaven (commands are passed down through many angels before they get to him).

🪽 he's basically working the biblical equivalent of an office job. not fun.

‿̩͙⊱༒︎༻♱༺༒︎⊰‿̩͙

bel

☀️ bel (our bill) is a demon, yes, but also a fallen angel. before being cast down to hell, he was a dominion, so one of heaven's higher-ups.

☀️ the exact reason he fell is rather hazy, but it's known that he wanted knowledge, he wanted power, and he didn't think it was fair that a single person got to make all the rules for all of creation.

☀️ he has a decent amount of power, but nothing too over the top, since he started at the very bottom of hell and has had to work his way up since. despite this, he's quite well known, mainly for being a former angel, an overall menace, and for sleeping around - his habits have led some to dubiously label him as an incubus.

☀️ bel has a human-ish form that isn't illustrated here. in this universe, he was turned into his familiar, triangular demon form as a punishment. think of the concept of contrapasso from dante's inferno; punishments that reflect sins. the eye of providence is symbolic.

‿̩͙⊱༒︎༻♱༺༒︎⊰‿̩͙

a tidbit of lore~

these two meet because bel desires to dismantle the hierarchies and rules and systems of heaven, hell, purgatory, everywhere; throw a spanner in the works of god's plan, whatever that might entail. however - as it stands - he's just not powerful enough to do it on his own, or with his limited amount of allies.

what he needs is a guy on the inside. someone closer to heaven, the angels, and god himself, but would realistically turn against it all. someone lost, reckless, disturbingly lacking in faith - a genius, and an idiot.

...well, i hope he finds who he's looking for!!!

‿̩͙⊱༒︎༻♱༺༒︎⊰‿̩͙

so yeah!! that's the au :) asks, reblogs and any other forms of interaction are really appreciated!!! im excited about this i want to talk about itttt

[demon-of-the-ancient-world]

Paul Atreides headcanons but only whumpy ones Sue Me

We *must* talk about his hand. We don't hear much about the box test after it happens but I feel like he must have had some lingering pain or numbness from that, like phantom pains days and weeks after that come out of nowhere

I think even after whatever else he goes through that remains the worst pain he's ever been in

Small thing but I feel like he bruises easily. This lad will have One (1) training session and look like he's been beaten up the next day

Visions/dreams get more intense and frequent when he has a fever

Especially earlier on said visions often give him headaches

Gets sick somewhat often. I just feel like he's a bit Delicate yk

Not *super* whumpy but I like to think in the film verse that after the end of the 2nd movie he has to favour his left hand/arm for a decent amount of time after his shoulder is injured

(Speaking of That Injury. I have no idea if either of his wounds from the duel will even be acknowledged in the last movie but in my mind they took a Long time to heal because he was like. Doing Space Dictator Shit and didn't have a moment to rest. So he's doing Space Dictator Shit while running on like 3 hours of sleep tops and also as his body is struggling to repair itself from 2 stab wounds so he's not exactly all that with it for a while after the end of that movie. literally running on fumes and he's kind of able to hold it together because of Bene Gesserit Stuff but he never properly rests and it really drags out the healing process)

Very good swimmer but there was definitely a time where he almost drowned on Caladan because a current picked him up or he was doing Something Reckless

(I like to imagine Duncan having been the one to dive in after him)

Despite being Small he probably still has a typical teenage boy appetite and I think an early indicator that he's somehow Unwell is him not eating/just kind of zoning out staring at his food

Not super relevant but he's been known to sleepwalk. Mostly when he was a kid, he'd just show up places in the middle of the night and the household guards all knew to gently lead him back to bed if they found him. Sometimes he still does it when he's older but only if he's been really stressed/sleep deprived/sick

Sick!Paul is so so pathetic. He doesn't complain that much but he just *looks* sad. Is cold most of the time. will curl up anywhere to sleep, even weird uncomfortable surfaces

(Conversely I have an image in my head of him getting so overheated when that phase of a fever hits that he just lies down on the floor of his room and won't let anyone try to move him even though it looks super uncomfortable it's the only place he doesn't feel like he's about to pass out)

And he'll get incredibly shaky when sick, like hands unable to coordinate properly, legs weak enough that walking is hard kind of shaky. he's like a little bird it's ridiculous

He's definitely fainted before at least once, I can just tell by looking at him

Gets super delirious with a high fever. It's alarming to anyone who doesn't know him well

I know it doesn't happen like this in the book, but I feel like the stone burner should've fucked him up more. Like sure, no eyes, but also I like to think he'd have some pretty bad burns on his face, possibly even breathing difficulties from burns in his throat and/or lungs, nerve damage etc.

When he first ends up in the desert it takes him a while to adjust to the Fremen ways of water consumption and conservation, aka he gets pretty dehydrated a few times

After taking the water of life he's kind of confused and exhausted just. constantly.

Like yes the visions are "clearer" but I headcanon it's more of a vibe he gets rather than something he really processes, he just instinctively *knows* in his body what's going to happen, not all of what he sees is actually all that distinct in terms of what he can describe and understand on an intellectual level. So it's basically millions of images and sensations downloaded immediately into his brain but he still has to make the effort to interpret what he's seeing, and especially at first when he's not used to it yet it's Not a simple process and is incredibly overwhelming

So yeah between All That and his injuries I'd like to think for a while after Dune Part 2 he's just not really all there. He's going off of autopilot based on what he *feels*, but internally he's existing in like five different timelines (both real ones past and to come, as well as potential alternate realities) at once and actually isn't 100% sure what's real/right in front of him and what isn't

@pmak2002 ok I have Done It. here.

[thequeenofthestorm]

How to Use D&D to Make Elden Bling

Part Two is out now! Read it here!

Introduction

So, I'm sure that my post title doesn't make too much sense, but let me explain myself. So, in D&D there are 12 different types of armor. Three of them are light, five of them are medium, and four of them are heavy. These armor types (plus one more for unarmored) can be used to categorize all Elden Ring clothing and armor, which is what I've used in the past to help me make better fashion. Now, this doesn't fully correlate with weight, although there is a pretty decent trend with heavier kinds of D&D armor being heavier in Elden Ring. Elden Ring has its own separations of armor categories, which I've decided to label as unarmored, robes, ultra light, very light, light, light medium, medium, heavy, very heavy, ultra heavy, and oversized. These are all fairly explanatory, and I mainly bring them up here for categorization purposes later on.

What Are the D&D Armor Types?

Alright, so now that we've talked about the categories, what are each of the D&D armor classes? What do they look like? What is used to distinguish it from other armor types? WHAT THE HELL IS SPLINT? Etc. etc. We'll go over them from lightest to heaviest below.

Padded

Padded is the lightest of the twelve armor types: just featuring layers of quilted cloth. This is primarily known as gambeson, and almost looks like a quilt version of one of those blanket hoodies when thick enough. It will keep you alive more than clothing, but not much more. Arrows will still tear through, as well as things like spears of just a sharp sword if the armor is thin enough.

Leather

The armor of rogues and other edgy folk everywhere: this is one of the more popular kinds of armor in D&D. It's just some simple boiled leather, typically fastened into a breastplate. According to roll20, aside from the breastplate the rest of the armor tends to be made of more flexible materials, which can be kind of true, but there's probably a little more than that: with maybe some greaves or forearm protection. Of course, most of your joints are likely going to have fairly breathable materials so that you can move, but you'd be able to get away with the same amount of leather that you would steel on, say, half plate (which I'll get into later)

Studded Leather

Ok so like apparently this armor never really existed, which I'm not super surprised about. Like, it's just leather with metal studs to help with sturdiness. Not gonna bother talking much about this one

Hide

Ok so we're now in the medium armors. I'll be honest, this feels like it should be under the light armors, but fur and animal hide is heavy so whatever. But yeah, it's armor made by thick animal furs and pelts. Think the kind of stuff that barbarians wear.

Chain Shirt

Made from interlocking rings, it's just chainmail in shirt form. None or only very little of the arm or leg protection, just the torso.

Scale Mail

You take a fish and make it into armor. I kid, but that's what it looks like. You take a bunch of metal scales and overlap them on each other. This set tends to mainly just be a coat with maybe greaves, according to roll20.

Breastplate

A breastplate, cuirass, or whatever you want to call it is very simple: a sheet of metal to cover your torso, with not much else. It's usually not JUST the torso covering (also known as the cuirass), and it may have some pauldrons and tassets, but not much else.

Half Plate

This is, in my opinion, the most confusing type of armor. According to roll20, it's interlocking plates that cover most of the wearers body, but with only simple greaves. That sounds simple on paper, but it always just sounded too much like plate, until I got this description from online. I unfortunately don't remember where this was, but half plate was described as a "best hits" compilation of full plate armor, which makes sense. Simple shin or thigh protection, a full breastplate with elbow and knee plates, and leather or possibly steel gauntlets.

Ring Mail

If you've ever played Skyrim: this is what the executioner in Helgen wears. It's a suit of cloth or leather that has rings put on top to help shake off sword or axe blows. It's inferior to chainmail armor (and hell probably half plate as well) but it's not bad. I feel like this should be the heaviest medium set instead of half plate, and that half plate should be the lightest heavy set, but I'm not from WotC and don't have some large following so my opinion doesn't matter much lol.

Chain Mail

Remember that chain shirt of interlocking metal rings we talked about earlier? Yeah, now make it into a full set of armor. Think the crusaders and a lighter armored paladin (as the heavier ones tend to go for plate). Some historical vikings wore chainmail as well!

Splint

Splint is probably the second weirdest armor behind half plate, but it's not super weird to visualize. Take long steel strips and bolt them on top of leather armor. Some types of splint could be brigandine or lamellar armor. I also think of roman legionnaire armor as a lighter form of splint

Plate

Alright, the heaviest suit of armor, and is by far the easiest to visualize as it's so damn customizable. It's the knight in shining armor archetype, the tin man made into armor, etc. etc. Paladins wear it. Fighters wear it. Plate armor is wonderful. You can wear robes over it or even other light armor as long as it's not gonna make you boil in the weather! Also, roll20 states that the boots are normally leather, but it kind of depends tbh. I typically think of plated sabatons, but shorter leather boots work well too!

Which Elden Ring Armor is Which?

So now that we have a basic understanding of each type of armor, we can now sort the Elden Ring armors into each of these thirteen types of clothing (the twelve types + unarmored). This isn't going to be going over non-set armor, as I'll be honest there is enough armor to go through already. Next to each armor set, I will also show the Elden Ring weight class. This can help if you, say, want to put together a heavy set of leather armor, or if you want to take pieces of plate armor that may be lighter in order to cut down on weight (because the plate armor can get quite light in some cases). I'll stop rambling and just show each armor class now lol. I was going to add images, but I've run out of images I can put on here lol.

Unarmored

Clothing, Most Mage Robes, Lightly Armored Sets with No Fitting Category, ETC.

Alberich's - Robes

Aristocrat - Unarmored

Astrologer - Robes

Azur's Glintstone - Robes

Battlemage - Robes

Bloodsoaked - Unarmored

Blue Festive - Unarmored

Champion (Kind of - It just doesn't have enough armor to go anywhere) - Light

Commoner's - Unarmored

Consort's - Ultra Light

Duelist - Light

Errant Sorcerer - Robe

Festive - Unarmored

Fia's - Robes

Finger Maiden - Robes

House Marais - Very Light

Godskin Apostle - Ultra Light

Goldmask's - Robes

Guardian Garb - Unarmored

Guilty - Unarmored

High Page - Unarmored

Juvenile Scholar - Robes

Lazuli Sorcerer - Robes

Lusat's - Robes

Malenia's - Medium

Mushroom - Unarmored

Noble's - Very Light

Old Aristocrat - Set

Page - Unarmored

Perfumer - Ultra Light

Preceptor's - Robes

Prisoner - Unarmored

Prophet - Robes

Queen of the Full Moon - Robes

Raya Lucarian Sorcerer - Robes

Ronin's - Medium

Rotten Duelist - Light

Ruler's - Ultra Light

Sage - Robes

Sanguine Noble - Ultra Light

Snow Witch - Robes

Spellblade - Robes

Traveler's - Unarmored

Traveling Maiden - Robes

War Surgeon - Very Light

Ansbach's - Ultra Light

Ascetics - Light

Dancer's - Very Light

Dane's - Robes

High Priest - Robes

Hornsent - Unarmored

Thiollier's - Very Light

Padded

Gambeson and Particularly Thick Cloth

Depraved Perfumer - Ultra Light

Godrick Foot Soldier - Light

Haligtree Foot Soldier - Light

Highwayman - Light

Godskin Noble - Ultra Light

Leyndell Foot Soldier - Light

Mausoleum Foot Soldier - Light

Omenkiller - Very Light

Perfumer Traveler's - Ultra Light

Radahn Foot Soldier - Light

Raya Lucarian Foot Soldier - Light

Common Soldier - Light

Shadow Militiaman - Light

Leather

Armor Made Of... Leather...

Bandit - Very Light

Blue Cloth - Very Light

Confessor - Very Light

Leather - Very Light

Raptor's - Very Light

Highland Warrior - Light

Studded Leather

Leather Armor With Those Tiny LEGO Bricks

Vulgar Militia - Light

Yes, that is it. The Nox sets MAY fit here, but they look more like a brass-tinted metal than leather to me. You can get away with them, though

Hide

Armor Made of Thick Animal Furs and Pelts

Fur - Ultra Light

Shaman - Ultra Light

Iron Rivet (Look I just wanted a third set here, ok?) - Light

Chain Shirt

Shirt Made of Interlocking Rings

Albinauric - Light Medium (Not confirmed as I have the game closed while writing this and isn't considered a set in my full item checklist apparently)

Drake Knight - Very Heavy (Could also go under chainmail or half plate)

Godrick Soldier - Light Medium

Haligtree Soldier - Light Medium

Leyndell Soldier - Light Medium

Mausoleum Soldier - Light Medium

Nomadic Merchant's - Very Light

Radahn Soldier - Light Medium

Raya Lucarian Soldier - Light Medium

Messmer Soldier - Light Medium

Scale Mail

Armor of Metal "Fish Scales"

Black Knife - Medium

Exile - Medium

Iron - Medium

Kaiden - Medium

Night Maiden - Light

Nox Monk - Light

Nox Swordstress - Light

Messmer's - Medium

Breastplate

A Fitted Metal Chestplate, Without Much Extra Protection

Eccentric - Medium

Elden Lord - Medium

Marionette Soldier - Medium

Zamor - Medium

Divine Beast - Heavy

Divine Bird - Heavy

Freyja's - Medium

Gravebird - Very Light

Igon's - Light

Half Plate

The "Greatest Hits" of the Superior Plate Armor. High Torso Protection with Moderate Limb Protection

Blackflame Monk - Medium

Blaidd's - Very Heavy

Bloodhound Knight - Heavy

Carian Knight - Heavy

Fire Monk - Medium

General Radahn - Ultra Heavy

Raging Wolf - Very Heavy

Scaled - Ultra Heavy

Death Knight (Can work with chainmail as well) - Heavy

Horned Warrior - Heavy

Oathseeker Knight - Very Heavy

Young Lion's - Ultra Heavy

Ring Mail

There's no ring mail sets, so I'm just gonna move on without the quick one-two sentence subtitle

Chain Mail

A Suit of Interlocking Metal Rings

Blue Silver - Medium

Briar - Very Heavy

Chain - Light Medium

Splint

Metal Strips Riveted Onto a Leather Backing

Land of Reeds - Medium

White Reed - Medium

Gaius's - Ultra Heavy

Plate

Full-Body Coverings Made with Shaped, Interlocking Metal Plates

All-Knowing - Very Heavy

Banished Knight - Ultra Heavy

Beast Champion - Ultra Heavy

Bull-Goat - Oversized

Cleanrot - Heavy

Crucible Axe - Ultra Heavy

Crucible Tree - Ultra Heavy

Cuckoo Knight - Heavy

Fingerprint - Very Heavy

Fire Prelate - Oversized

Gelmir Knight - Heavy

Godrick Knight - Heavy

Haligtree knight - Heavy

Hoslow's - Very Heavy

Knight - Heavy

Leyndell Knight - Heavy

Lionel's - Oversized

Malformed Dragon - Ultra Heavy

Maliketh's (Can fit scaled as well) - Very Heavy

Mausoleum Knight - Heavy

Night's Cavalry - Ultra Heavy

Omen - Oversized

Redmane Knight - Heavy

Royal Knight - Very Heavy

Royal Remains - Very Heavy

Tree Sentinel - Ultra Heavy

Twinned Set - Very Heavy

Vagabond Knight - Heavy

Veteran's - Ultra Heavy

Black Knight - Heavy

Fire Knight - Heavy

Night - Medium

Rakshasa - Very Heavy

Rellana's - Very Heavy

Solitude - Ultra Heavy

Verdigris - Oversized

Conclusion

Aaaaaaand that should be it! I may've forgotten a set or two since I'm writing this at 0230, but I got the majority of them done. If this post gets enough eyes on it, I want to do a follow-up post or two with what I couldn't include in this post. I want to show fashion that pertains to each of the thirteen categories, explain ways to use items in different categories to make items in different categories (for example, using a robe over plate armor pieces to make plate armor with a much lighter weight), and show every one of my current characters while explaining what armor category I think they fall into. Hopefully this was entertaining enough to read, but to be fair if you're all the way down here you (may've) read it all, so thanks! :D

Ok yeah I'm gonna go to sleep now. This has been Rachel; y'all have a night lol

[izunias-meme-hole]

My Top 10 Ganon Incarnations (Remake)

Number 1. Breath of The Wild/Tears of The Kingdom - It's honestly surprising how this duology managed to crank out one of the greatest incarnations of Ganon in the series. In the first game, we see Ganon's power in the form of a demonic beast known as Calamity Ganon, and while this thing was basically an animal, it is the primary reason why the world of BoTW is as barren as it is, and this monster does have both a large presence, and decent amount of activity though the Guardians, Blights, Divine Beasts, and blood moons, creating a fear factor for a good chunk of the game. That is until said fear vanishes when you see that this things final form is just a flaming pig. However, in ToTK we meet the source of Calamity Ganon, the original Demon King Ganondorf from the era of Hyrule's founding and man does he deliver. He stays underground for a majority of the game after shattering the Master Sword and almost killing Link, but he never stops feeling like an active threat because of his Phantom Ganon's, Puppet Zelda, and the most dangerous thing in his arsenal, gloom. Not only that, but ToTK goes out of it's way to still present Ganondorf as a darwinistic asshole who worships power and actually thinks that his actions are justified due to his earned position as the Gerudo's divinely appointed king, though unlike his other incarnations he has a terminal case of insanity from the get-go, which rears its head at every chance. These games made Ganon into a legitimate demon on all fronts, first introducing his pure demonic power without his dangerous mind and then introducing the true mad Demon King himself later on.

Number 2. Ocarina of Time/Twilight Princess - This was the best Ganondorf incarnation of a LONG time. He’s a timeless classic with simple, yet effective characterization who does so much with such little screentime. He starts out as a king of thieves with a large ambition who is willing to kill anyone who gets in the way of his prize, and said prize was the triforce, and he actually gets it, well a piece of it. Then in the future, he goes from that to a true King of Evil, and judging by the impact his reign has had on the land, and the fact that he nearly genocided the Zora and Gorons, is honestly enough to inform the player that he's somehow crueler than before. Also HE PLAYS HIS OWN THEME ON AN ORGAN IN REAL TIME AS YOU TRAVEL HIS CASTLE! And how could we forget about that horrific beast form. Also let’s not forget about his return in Twilight Princess, picking up where he left off after getting snitched on by Link. He's active through Zant for a lot of the game, and when we hear about him, he's basically built up as a ruthless ass bastard with a god complex, and he himself is such a god damn great final boss. OOT/TP Ganondorf was and IS the blueprint for any future incarnations of the character, and he was the best for a long time, and that quality remained when he returned in Twilight Princess as the final boss. But now he finally has an equal.

Number 3. Hyrule Warriors - To sum up this incarnation of Ganondorf, he's a magnificent bastard, and arguably the best representation of Ganon outside of the main series. He thrives on the battlefield, has learned from previous defeats, has his arrogance and ambitions on check, operates in the shadows if he has too, and most importantly HE GOT THE FULL TRIFORCE. He also has a dank design. Were it not for the fact that he's in a warriors game, this Ganondorf would've been worshiped by everyone.

Number 4. Super Smash Bros - He was a last minute inclusion in Melee, a bad character to play as in Brawl, a joke in smash 4 gameplay-wise. So why is he Number 3? He was a good "Orcus on His Throne" villain in Subspace, he got a HUGE upgrade in Ultimate, and the aura around him and the energy he has in ALL the games is 100% Ganondorf, from his taunts to the heaviness of his attacks. One of his taunts is literally him taking out a sword and putting it away, implying that he could use it, but only needs his overwhelming power to beat his enemies, and it's the type of arrogance I expect from Ganon when he's at the height of his power. He ain't the best character in the games and is in need of buffs, but I do believe he's a good representation of Ganon outside the main series. Also when do you ever see Ganon interacting with Bowser, Sephiroth, Ridley, AND King Dedede in offical media?

Number 5. A Link To The Past - I don’t feel like we give this man enough credit. He mainly pranced around as Agahnim in A Link To The Past, so he doesn’t have enough time to truly be himself, but even then he was still a great villain and a great final boss for his time. He’s aged like fine wine as a villain lore-wise and in some story elements, especially since Agahnim would not only be the inspiration for Zant, but the Phantom Ganons, literal extensions of Ganon himself. Sure he’s still a big blue boar, but he’s actually conniving, he’s got his mind intact, an entire realm that he has full control over, he actually took over Hyrule Castle via posing as a hero during his time as Agahnim, AND HE HAS THE FULL TRIFORCE. Sure he ain’t beating OoT Ganondorf, but he's the best Classic Ganon due to lore, feats, and the fact he walked so the other Ganons could run. Also this is the game that revealed snippets of Ganon’s origin, which we got to see in full in OoT.

Number 6. Wind Waker - After reassessing this take on Ganon, I realized that his biggest problem isn’t a lack of presence, because he does have that in spades still. His problem is a lack of general activity, aside from princess kidnapping which does end up hurting him a lot. But at the end of the day, Wind Waker’s Ganondorf carried by a great final battle, a good design, and genuine depth as a character. The best way to sum him up is "The Lord of A Dead Empire," and everytime he's appears, that becomes clearer and clearer. Despite this characterization of the big bad king being sadder than usual, this guy is still downright evil to the bone, so don't be caught off guard. Sure, he's lower on the list, but he's still pretty amazing, and he's also 50% of the fandom's favorite incarnation of him, which is honestly an achievement.

Number 7. Yuganon - Ganon was feral and mindless before this, but after basically fusing with the narcissistic artist Yuga, Yuganon here basically became more destructive and ambitious than both Yuga and Ganon. Yuga was already a good villain and creative villain, but combining him with a mindless and feral Ganon just established that “yep… he’s Lorule’s Ganondorf.”

Number 8. Four Swords Adventure - I’m honestly split on this guy. While he’s honestly not astounding, Ganon was decent here. He’s a reincarnation of Ganon that was active as Ganondorf, but only appears at the end as Ganon. However I do feel like he could’ve made just ONE appearance as Ganondorf the man at some point rather than just final boss pig beast Ganon. Aside from that, he’s just decent altogether. Nothing infuriating, but nothing good either.

Number 9. Oracle Games - He's basically a prototype Calamity Ganon, but he never got a full time in the limelight because Twinrova revived him at the end. However, he is here because, well... this is ironically a fitting fate for Classic Ganon at this point in the timeline. Being reduced to a mere mindless beast that only cares about destruction and nothing else.

Number 10. Zelda 1 - Nothing special, but he’s the first Ganon, so he’s kinda an honorary member here.

[majoliish]

Body Type Headcanons!

These are just some of my personal headcanons for the main cast's overall body types - I have a lot more to say about them (and why they are the way they are), so if anyone is curious feel free to bother me!

CW for general talk of body types (with no negative connotations attached)

Lucifer - The second tallest of the brothers. Straight up and down and as flat as a board. A little bit of muscle, enough to be defined but not to be super noticeable. A very ‘generic’ body type.

Mammon - Kind of short and stocky. He seems taller just because he works so hard to make his presence known and keep attention on himself to some degree. 

Leviathan - Spindly and lanky, but with little pouches of chub here and there - think like the Spot from Spiderverse, but he wears it well.

Satan - Very similar body type to Lucifer, but he looks shorter because of his poor posture. He also, overall, looks more angular than Lucifer.

Asmodeus - His appearance is the one that varies the most, he changes it up almost daily, adjusting curvature and shapes in ways that he feels are ‘aesthetically pleasing’, sometimes switching up his gender presentation too. But overall, he’s soft and short, and curvy in all the right places.

Beelzebub - He’s the tallest of all his brothers. He’s big and broad, and while he’s obscenely strong, the muscle isn’t as defined as, say, a bodybuilder. He’s got some softness to protect it. 

Belphegor - Very chubby and rounded, which is accentuated even more when he wears baggy clothes. When he sits or lays down, he tends to just devolve into a little puddle.

Diavolo - He’s the most typical bear you could imagine. Big and broad, chubby and hairy. He’s a little below Lucifer’s height (up to his nose), but Lucifer tends to slouch in his presence so that he seems taller. 

Barbatos - He’s very petite, in a way that almost seems ethereal. He has the ability to easily change his appearance, but he finds that a smaller form tends to make others let their guard down around him. He’s still extraordinarily strong though. 

Simeon - He’s slim and fit, but overall fairly slender. He’s the same height as Diavolo. Relatively skinny and also sort of soft-looking, with very little visible built muscle. 

Luke - In Nightbringer he’s sort of like… childishly proportioned, like a teen boy going through a growth spurt, where he’s got too much height in his limbs, whereas in the original game, he’s sort of shorter and more rounded out, with a decent amount of chub. 

Solomon - Wiry and spindly, almost in an uncanny sort of way. He may occasionally look unhealthily gaunt, but he plays it off like it’s nothing.

[uncannytimecandy]

heres the garfield essay. im really only posting it because its been haunting my drafts since May 2024. fair warning: this is obnoxiously long

----

I have NOT seen enough hate on this movie.

Like I've heard OF the critiques but I haven't heard any of them first hand. Which is great cause that means I just get to make them myself.

Fair warning!!! This is stupidly long

If I really wanted to I could make hours of content ripping this movie to shreds and leaving nothing left but it's pitiful malformed bones.

To fully preface, I heard it was bad before I went to go see it. Maybe going in blind would have changed how I felt, but I promise really did want to enjoy it. I love Garfield, I wasn't super into the comic strip but I grew up watching Garfield shows, movies, specials, basically there is a Garfield-shaped place in my heart.

Ideally, this would be an internet friendly numbered list but since all of the problems are deeply interlinked it's hard to divide into different points, but let's try anyways!

i. The IP

The movie is awful at hiding the fact it's using the IP as a cash grab. People like Garfield, if we make a Garfield movie, people will come see it. To be fair, they were right. I wouldn't have seen this movie otherwise but it sheds light on a bigger problem we've been seeing for a long time. We have so many remakes and sequels because they can guarantee a fanbase. New, original ideas are a risk and not worth investing in. This is why all movies these days feel so lifeless. This is no longer someone's passion project, this is a product to sell.

Honestly, it's a well known thing at this point. Going into depth here would just be a disservice to all the people who could say it better than me. No need to dwell.

But why is THIS movie worth mentioning? The new money-focused way of film making is no secret, they don't HAVE to hide it, but the movie seems INSISTENT on making you acutely aware of its brand (and deals) every single frame.

The opening scene having a close up on Jon's Sony headphones, the Fed Ex Truck at the end, the Walmart app, the Netflix Spoof (spoofing would be excusable if the rest of it wasn't so blatant), the OLIVE GARDEN*, etc, etc. It just kept going.

I've heard the same critique of the Sonic Movie, but personally I didn't mind it then. The Olive Garden not-ad was at least wrapped into a joke I found decently funny. It's annoying in concept but didn't ruin my experience.

Now Garfield is no stranger to merch, you can buy a Garfield branded (insert anything you care enough to find). There is an OBSCENE amount of Garfield merch. The movie having a couple brand deals isn't totally left field, however, that's usually merchandise you buy AFTER you've seen, an hopefully enjoyed, the movie. (I have a lot of feelings about companies releasing merch for a piece of media pre-debut)

It's one thing when it's in a live-action show or movie. Those products exist in real life, this is a realistic setting, my immersion isn't broken. (Don't worry it can still be blatant and annoying)

Knowing a team of animators had to model, render, and animate every single brand deal is ABSOLUTELY immersion breaking.

Quite Frankly. This is an old and retired point and a better reflection of modern society than the ways this movie personally wronged me.

ii. It's a bad Garfield Movie

The main thing I've heard mentioned is that if it was a regular animated cat movie, it would be fine**, but it's a bad Garfield Movie.

This is hard to break down cause most of it I plan on going over later. The first two points were the most obvious so I wanted to get them out of the way.

To summarize, it butchers every single aspect of Garfield that made it so beloved in the first place. The characters, the dynamics, the themes, all of it. It just isn't Garfield.

This is where things get messy.

iii. Garfield (The Characters)

One really big issue I had with this movie, as a movie and not as a Garfield entry, is that it doesn't know how to have flawed characters. As I break down this movie that will be a reoccurring theme.

Garfield is a HORRIBLY flawed character. He is selfish, lazy, unsympathetic and borderline cruel. These traits are shown in strip after strip, there's really no point in debating it.

The thing is, THE POINT if you will, is that we love him anyways. He is the part of us we all relate to without actually being able to express. He is as honest as we wish we could get away with and as lazy as we all wish we were allowed.

Taking a step back, I get it. It's a kids movie and it's iffy to have the titular character be such an awful role model. Once again, Garfield is continuously awful and abusive to the people around him (I am not hating, but you can't deny it). Toning is down for the sake of audience makes sense to a degree, but the thing is no one MADE you make a Garfield movie. You CHOSE to use an IP with an asshole MC. If you didn't want Garfield, then DONT USE GARFIELD.

It makes the MC wishy washy and hard to read. He is mean and "real" but... not too mean, cause that would be bad. He is manipulative, but not too manipulative.... he's still nice to them... actually you only ever see him being nice... he just SAYS he's mean and then never shows it.

Worth noting, if the movie wanted to reinvent Garfield in that direction, I wouldn't mind. The narrative of Garfield being all bark and no bite would be sweet, that he's all "mean and nasty" but can't help himself from being kind to the people he cares about. It would be a fresh take, the problem is the movie can't COMMIT to that narrative and you have to just ASSUME that's what they meant in order to find any satisfaction in it.

iii.i. Odie

He gets a little subsection all to himself.

Odie in the movie also suffers from no longer resembling his original comic self. ESPECIALLY in his relationship with Garfield.

In the source material, Garfield is NASTY to him. He's always kicking him off the table, insulting him, and throwing him under the bus at every possible chance.

Odie is a drooling idiot who falls for it every time cause he's a "stupid dog".

Once again, I get it. Having Garfield beat up his weird kind of brother is a weird message to send out to children. Toning it down isn't really the problem.

Actually, seeing them get along is really sweet and was fun to see.

But he perfectly shows off the main point here, Garfield introduces him by saying something along the lines of Odie being his useless lackey. If this was done right, it would have been fine, great even! This constant contrast between how Garfield SAYS it is and how he ACTUALLY acts. It would be a fun gag.

INSTEAD, it feels like Garfield just... forgot... that he hates Odie. As the movie goes on he isn't mean to him or talks down to him even once. If this had been intentional, like "Oh they didn't used to get along but now they do" or "Garfield is nicer than he seems" ORR "LITERALLY ANY ACTUAL CHARACTER DEVELOPMENT" it would have been great! A good spin on a classic character!

This is a problem with other characters I'll discuss, but Odie is special.

In a weird way it feels like the writers are trying to apologize to Odie for his original existence. Odie is not only treated with respect for once, but he's suddenly smart and always coming in clutch, (which would work as a gag if he was a pre-established idiot). Suddenly everyone loves him and he's the favorite and he is a fast thinker with every solution.

In the movie, Odie is pretty removed from the plot in a way. He is always coming in with a solution (like the tree rope or the cheese scene) but his actual character never gets to shine. He's still very clearly a plot device with almost no real personality or motivation.

These factors together make Odie feel like some weird self-insert oc that isn't allowed to do any wrong. The whole team feels very "And Bumblebee!" (in his defense, it's hard to see which one of them is Bumblebee, but we will get to that)

iii.ii. Jon

He also deserves his own subsection.

Full disclosure, a lot of my thoughts and feelings about Jon and his relationship with Garfield are inspired by the 'What The Internet Did to Garfield" video essay that's decently popular and also seeing the Gorefield phenomenon happen in real time online.

As a horror fan, it's endlessly fascinating to me.

However, I was not really expecting the movie to open that can of worms, (it's a lot of worms). It would have been COOL, sure, but I'm not so disillusioned to think themes like eternal punishment, and the artist being overtaken by the creation, to grace my children's movie.

But it still was jarring to see Garfield not be mean to him LIKE EVEN ONCE. He's a little inconsiderate sure, (like 6000 worth of takeout) but overall they get along.

Now, even though I am an AVID fan of Gorefield-esque content, I LOVE seeing them bond.

I just need to bring up this strip. It means so much to me.

So even though I enjoy the torment, I love seeing the other side of the coin where they are family. Even though they never stop pointing out each other's flaws but Garfield never runs away and Jon never throws him out. Every additional year the comic runs, you can be sure that they still live under the same roof and stay together.

It's timeless, really.

And if you think about it, with how present it is in the comics and the origin of it, Jon and Garfields relationship is pretty much the central point of the comic.

I dont hate the way Jon is represented in the movie. He's still a cartoonist (which I thought was really sweet and I appreciated) and he isn't so boyfailure at every single one of his endeavors.

The trailer and the opening scene is really promising. Jon and Garfield origin story, getting to see how they met and why they both needed each other at that time, seeing them play off each other and grow together.

However, after the first 15 minutes or so, Jon is ENTIRELY swept to the side. He's dropped to B plot (at best!!!! more like D Plot) almost INSTANTLY.

It's disappointing.

Not only does the narrative not care about him, but after the opening, GARFIELD doesn't care about him. It seems like Jon no longer holds ANY emotional weight in his life. GARFIELD DOESN'T NEED HIS DAD TO SHOW UP AFTER YEARS!!!! JON IS HIS DAD!!!!!

It's somehow even sadder than the eternal tormenting angle.

IV. VIC.

I hate him so much. He's literally the worst. He's the hardest to rag on because I don't know where to begin. Overall,

He doesn't fit.

But it's so much more than that.

Let's start of the surface.

IV.I. I hate the way he looks

Like, he looks fine, I guess, but GRAHHH

He haunts me.

As an individual character, it's fine. He's big and scraggly and also... Looks like Garfield. It's pretty easy to read WHO he is and WHAT he's like.

But he's a little too ... human... like he doesn't move like a cat. Garfield walks on two feet and is fairly anthro but still has cat anatomy and occasionally sleeps or walks like a cat.

He does share this traits with this other side character dog we get to see, so he's not totally singled out but what REALLY bothers me is that it minimizes the only concrete Garfield character trait that we got to keep. That he's fat.

Vic is NOTICABLY bigger, and by a lot. Which makes sense in a Dad = Bigger visual reading. But it just makes one of Garfields central traits... not mean anything. There's even a gag where Vic can fit through a vent and Garfield can't, which would be funnier if it didn't point out such an obvious flaw in the writing. If Vic also ate a lot and that was like a special traits they shared than MAYBE, but no. Vic has been seen struggling to feed himself and his kid. He Is poor and turned to a life of crime just to eat. AND Vic even makes fun of Garfield for being fat and how food motivated he is.

----

Okay I lost steam and am never going to finish this. I dont remember the other half of my argument and remembering would require me to re-watch the movie (I WILL NOT BE DOING THAT) so wrapping this up a year later.

Only a half-argument because turns out I was totally wrong and a fake Garfield fan but wanted to mention it anyways

I always thought Garfield walking on two feet was because he was so domesticated and human-like. And that's why Arlene walked on all fours. (my point was that Vic SHOULDN'T be on two feet but i looked into it and turns out there is some alley cats who are bipedal so ... whatev....)

**ALSO MENTION GARFIELD ALREADY HAS A MOVIE ABOUT REUNITING WITH HIS ALLEY CAT PARENT AND IT WAS DONE BETTER THE FIRST TIME

and my the only other argument i remember IF YOU WANTED TO HAVE FARM ANIMALS... YOU DIDN'T HAVE TO MAKE NEW HALF-BAKED OCs.... GARFIELD AND FRIENDS HAD A WHOLE CAST OF THEM R I G H T T H E R E. (this was unfortunately really just wishful thinking on my part. I remember getting really excited in the theater when they mentioned a farm just to be really disappointed. I'm willing to admit this was just personal preference. JUST SAYING IF UR GOING TO NOSTALGIA BAIT-)

i just miss them sometimes (WHAT? IS IT A CRIME??)

anyways if ur rooting around looking for hate on this movie, I hope this will suffice.

I wrote most of this in a blind rage when i got home from the movie so. its very passionate but not very well done. I went to see it with a pretty girl so it was still a good time, I just wish we went to go see a better movie :P

[pomefioredove]

Okay I read the match up thing 3 times so I am 90% sure I'm doing this right. You want a good amount of info right? Well here you go I listed everything I thought of that would describe me and maybe affect a relationship.

Personality

It depends on who you ask but the usual summary is really nice, considerate, sweet, smart and helpful. Also being described as innocent and sheltered because I miss out on social cues, have never smoke or vaped, haven't had a partner or my first kiss, never got in trouble an am not allowed the house without some adult with me despite being 17. I only recently got permission to walk to the seven eleven across the street only with a friend. Despite all this I'm not completely clueless and have a dark sence of humor and a bunch of sarcasm used for comedy and am not bothered by cursing whatsoever in others or myself.

It depends on who I'm with but my attitude can vary like if I'm around people I'm not familiar or comfortable with I get quiet but when I'm with friends and chosen family I can get really talkative especially about my interests, though I am a introvert so any social interaction wears me down.

When it comes to confrontation regarding myself I tend to stay away as much as possible even if something bothers me if it's something I don't see as a big deal to "keep the peace". But when it comes others I'm much more willing to back them up in their confrontation or even confront someone for them if need be.

Alot of people have done those relationship tests on random people and friends, I didn't know what they were until after the test but I apparently passes the orange one?

I've also been told multiple times that I passed the "bird test" but I don't know what that is and haven't had time to Google it because I forget I don't know if it's important but I figured I'd mention it just in cade.

I like giving out random gifts to people I know and go to school with. It's usually something that reminds me of them, that suits their taste, or a craft I made that I thought they would like.

I kinda struggle sometimes with maintaining relationships that I develope in person especially when I'm not seeing them often and can sometimes like dissappear for anywhere from 2 days to a week just randomly with no warning.

Interests

My latest is origami flowers and I like making them and giving random small bouquets to people that would like them or look like they have had a rough day.

Though I love movies and i can eve. Quote and act most of the ones i like and love Easter eggs.

I write a whole bunch two especially for fandoms in involved in and have multiple pages that are dedicated for one fandom that get long 6,000 word stories every week

I love videos games, I wouldn't say that I'm a gamer cause I don't have near enough time committed or games, but I'm really good in combat games like Super Mario and Mortal combat, I also like RPGs, Games like Mr. Tomato and Ms Lemon, I am average at any kind of games like Fortnight because I'm not good at any weapon that needs to aim like guns and arrows when I need to shoot from afar but I'm really good at close combat, and good at being support and can usually manage to stay alive. I'm also really good at board games which I win at alot and card games. I don't usually have much of a temper but with games can get pretty heated sometimes.

I do a lot of crafts, like soap making, candle making, cross stitching and love cooking and baking.

I love reading as well and have been known to go through five books in the span three days

Life Style

I'm usually decent about picking up after myself and my crafts, meaning no trash in my room but because of all my hobbies there is always a bunch of clutter that I'm not bothered by and sort of organize a little to make it look decent keep the peace.

Alot of days I don't have the energy to do much other then watch movies or play video games and just hang around the house most of the time. On the few days I do have to go out that's usually when I get all my work done because I feel more productive getting one to two weeks worth of work done in a day in between talking to people and whatever favors and tasks teachers give me.

At school I'm known as sort of the go to if you need a favor or any help with schoolwork even the classes I'm not in because I have a bunch of ideas, know a lot about random stuff and when I don't know I am able to look up good material to source.

When I come home honey from those days I usually just eat and then go to bed afterwards.

I love warmth, warm showers, warm close and physical affection. I don't get much of that and am a bit touch starved but make up for it with long hot showers and usually sleeping with a heating pad.

I tend to stay up very late most nights and only go to bed at a decent time like 11 when I have to go places the next day. I'm not loud when I stay up though it's usually me listening to music through headphones and writing, reading, or playing games.

I don't know

Background

I've recently realized my childhood was not healthy at all.

My parents were divorced by 5 and because of my dad having custody bur working late night shifts and I was left with my grandmother who homeschooled me. She had Ptsd, depression, and Biolar and should not have been left to cars for me.

I would be screamed at constantly for things that she was stressed about and couldn't control and was repeatedly told the story of my parents divorce ans how my mom legally abandoned me and didn't want me.

She would have random breakdown and panic attacks and every time I tried to console her would tense up and start yelling at me causing me to be really akward now when people get upset.

She constantly guilt trips and gaslight me and my sister even now ans combined with how my dad is a bit of a compulsive liar makes me second guess alot of what people say.

My dad was also a alcoholic and used to constantly pick fights with us, their combined behavior made me really anxious and I realized that I have anxiety because of them, at the time it was so bad I would get mine panic attacks sometimes just at the mention of going to their house. My anxiety was so bad that I threw up alot ans developed a fear of getting sick like that so I stopped eating as much as I should back then leading me to lose 50 pounds.

Now I'm much better, my dad is clean and a muc better person and we have made up but my grandmother is just as bad. My anxiety gets really bad sometimes still and in those days I lay down with my heating pad until I no longer feel like I'm going to throw up. I don't know why exactly but the heat helps. I also have a very crappie memory and can remember basically nothing till age 15 and even then those are spotty.

You probably didn't need that last bit but tldr: I am not completly mentally stable but am willing to learn and grow and change.

(No jack or Leona please I just want see myself getting along with them.)

I match you with 𝐀𝐳𝐮𝐥 𝐀𝐬𝐡𝐞𝐧𝐠𝐫𝐨𝐭𝐭𝐨

The First Impression:

Azul first sees you as a threat to his business. No, really! Here you are, being all nice, offering help and doing favors for the other students for free... it doesn't matter how nice or innocent you seem, he'd be naive to underestimate you.

Why He Fell:

...Well, he's partially correct. You're definitely not as innocent as others take you for, so much becomes apparent when he hears you crack a joke for the first time. But you aren't a liar; the whole "nice and helpful" thing is genuine, and what's more is you're smart; you pick your battles, you avoid getting taken advantage of, and you're actually quite efficient and handy.

So, while you may not be a threat to him, Azul still thinks you're worth keeping around.

You grow closer over board games and long conversations. You're almost as good as him (maybe even more so, but he'd never admit that aloud) and Azul loves a good challenge, after all. Over time you both open up about your pasts and your anxieties, and he begins sharing things he never thought he would be able to. It's a comfortable, quiet sort of thing.

The Relationship:

Azul feels important with you.

Not for what he can do or what he can offer, but because he's him, and you like him (he hopes). The first time you make him a gift, he's genuinely confused. He tries to pay you, and when you don't accept, he spends an entire week thinking of ways to make it up to you. It almost becomes a little tradition, doing nice things for one another.

He's able to carve out multiple times in his week to dedicate to you. Azul is surprisingly good at finding the perfect balance between needing recharge time and needing to see each other, and the structure actually works well. Expect lots and lots of physical affection when you get to that point; Azul has been touch-starved for his entire life, after all, and he'll gladly share warmth with you.

[acaplaya-musings]

Voiceplay-adjacent Visuals - Mele Kalikimaka

Time for the final posts of my 12 Days Of Christmas In July series!

Mele Kalikimaka was released on the 6th of December, 2020, and so far it is the only cover on Geoff's channel that features vocals from someone other than himself, as this features a singing trio known as The American Sirens! I'll talk about them a little more in a bit, but really I'm just keen to start this post, so let's go!

Cute ornament!

Oh and btw this was filmed at "Orange studios", which VoicePlay have used at least a couple times before for video shoots, including for Hoist The Colours!

Given that this was all filmed in an actual studio, how much of this was an actual office, and how much was put together just for the video? I really don't know, but I wouldn't be surprised if there was at least a decent amount of set design courtesy of Geoff and Kathy for this one, so 10/10 for it!

(Don't say it don't say it don't say it-)

Also look at the top left section of Geoff's laptop! It's got a VoicePlay sticker on it! <3 (and yes you can actually buy one yourself!)

So cute! (I'm talking about the Christmas tree of course, what else? 😜😂 )

(Okay but seriously the tree is adorable and I want one just like it!)

Pretty smooth transition!

(Also as if one necklace wasn't enough, now he has another! (I'm kidding - never too many accessories! 😝))

A lot of people in the comments absolutely were loving Geoff's facial expressions in this one, and so of course I gotta highlight them myself! As one commenter simply put it, this is "that look you give when your startled by people singing along with you that didn't know they were there" 😆

Oh Geoff, how I love you 😂

Also, to quote another commenter, "love that his first impulse upon hallucinating is to sing countermelody" XD

Alright, time to meet The American Sirens!

The blonde lady sitting down is Lindsay Flick Cardona, the brunette lady behind her is Alejanda Martinez, and the lady at the back (on the far right) is Rachel Copeland-Evans. I don't really know who Lindsay is (I'm guessing no relation to EJ and Omar? (EDIT: Oh nvm she's EJ's wife apparently!)), but Alejandra and Rachel have both starred in videos for PattyCake Productions! (Also Rachel Copeland had a brief cameo in VoicePlay's Little Mermaid Medley video as the "this one longing to be thinner" individual during the Poor Unfortunate Souls bit).

I've done fanart of this screenshot!

Also another comment I gotta include: "I love Geoff absolutely nailing the face of 'I didn’t realise this was a fantasy i had but i’m not complaining that it’s happened'"

Shoutout to Alejandra who did the choreography for herself, Rachel, and Lindsay for this video, and shoutout to the fact that it looks like it's at least inspired by proper Hawaiian dancing, and it's not just stereotypical hula or whatever! And their outfits are really pretty as well! (I have a teeny bit of experience with Polynesian dancing, which has similarities, from when I was like 11 years old)

Last year I attempted to learn the choreography from this video, and come this December I'm probably gonna try to learn it again! (Any excuse to rewatch it, lol)

"A very merry Christmas tooo-"

"-youuuuuuuu..."

The fancy lights, microphones, and decorations are gone, and so are the ladies, but his green necklace remains!

And the tree has some new ornaments! Was it all just a dream?...

Not a super long post, since it's not a long video, but honestly it's a sentimental favourite of mine, especially since I knew this one since not long after it was released, and it's just a simple, feel-good cover, with a lovely video to boot! (Oh and the fact that it's very applicable to Australian Christmases also helps, lol). Three more videos to go!

[comshipbracket]

Antis DNI

Remember, you are voting for the ship you prefer, not the ship you find more problematic

Propaganda for both ships under the cut.

Spoilers for both medias under the cut

Niffany Propaganda (Abusive Dynamic, Arguably Yandere, Unhealthy Obsessions)

"Tiffany and Nica are just the cutest couple in the Chucky tv series. Tiffany is so in love with Nica that she was willing to kidnap and CHOP THE LEGS AND ARMS off of her just so they could be together forever. Every morning TIffany feeds Nica in bed, dresses her in adorable dresses, and then gags her with a cute pink ball gag so she doesn't scream while guests are over. Later in the series, Nica escapes with the help of Tiffany's two kids, and she becomes obsessed with getting revenge on Tiffany, wanting to torture her for what she did to Nica. I just think they're such an interesting pair and a super fun ship!!"

Seymorin Propaganda (Abusive Dynamic)

Seymorin as very much unwanted and suppressed mutual sexual attraction is an extremely fun dynamic that compliments and highlights the characters' personalities and motivations well. For anyone who hasn't seen Little Shop of Horrors, Seymour is in love with his coworker/friend Audrey, who is in a relationship with Orin, an abusive and sadistic dentist. Seymour lets Orin die to save Audrey from his abuse, and they start dating shortly after that. Audrey uses a fantasy of being a traditional 50s housewife as a coping mechanism for her horrible quality of life, and I swear that this fact will be relevant to the propaganda."

"Some of the other concepts I will bring up in this propaganda might not immediately appear to be relevant to the ship between Seymour and Orin either, but it'll all tie together in the end. Another important consideration is that the lines between subtext that objectively exists in the story and was intended by the writers and stuff that I completely made up aren't even clear to me, and there are substantial gray areas between those two extremes, but it's still a very fun dynamic."

"There is a decent amount of evidence in the text of the play and movie that Seymour believes that Audrey likes abusive guys like Orin, the two strongest pieces of evidence being that (in the play) he tries to impress her by wearing Orin's leather jacket (a week after his death, great going Seymour) and that (in the play and the movie) he states through a metaphor that he wants to be Orin or at least be a guy like him so that Audrey will want him. The line in question is `Gee I'd like a Harley machine, toolin' around like I was James Dean, makin' all the guys on the corner turn green!` and he sings this a few minutes after he saw Orin for the first time. Orin was driving a motorcycle, presumably a Harley but I don't know the difference between different kinds of motorcycles, and he drove off on it with Audrey. Seymour wants to be 'properly masculine' for Audrey like he thinks she deserves and wants and sees Orin as having this masculinity (as symbolized by his motorcycle, a symbol of masculinity, and the reference to James Dean, also a symbol of masculinity) despite his hatred towards him and his abuse of her."

"This is because he is presumably familiar enough with her to know that she fantasizes about being a 50s housewife and living a traditional 50s middle class suburban life, and thus he wants to be a proper '50s husband and provider figure' type guy for her to fit into that life. As this system of 50s gender norms was a breeding ground for abuse ranging from violent domestic abuse to inherent power gaps in romantic relationships, Seymour's sort of adoptive father and model for masculinity was neglectful and arguably abusive, and Audrey has probably been in some kind of abusive relationship for most of the time that he's known her, he believes that abuse is an integral part of this 50s lifestyle fantasy both objectively and from Audrey's perspective. The husband being a provider and protector is also an integral part of this fantasy in his view, and thus he conceptualizes of Audrey's hatred towards Orin and his abuse of her as resulting from Orin's failure to protect and provide for her, thus placing his abuse towards her in an 'improper' context. Despite this, he in a sense desperately 'wants to want' to be properly masculine like Orin and to be capable of providing for ALL of Audrey's desires like she deserves despite being viscerally uncomfortable with everything involved in Orin's hypermasculinity and having an 'inherent nature'/personality that is completely counter to it. He wants this so much that it starts to bleed into 'wanting' Orin himself in a sense despite him in theory only wanting women and in practice being extremely fixated on wanting Audrey to the exclusion of everyone and everything else."

"From Orin's side of things, I like to imagine that he heard Seymour's radio interview and figured out that 1. his girlfriend has a job outside of The Gutter (the way I phrased that is representative of his thought process and not mine, I love Audrey) and 2. Her coworker at that job (Seymour) obviously has a crush on her. This inspired him to go pick her up for a date at her other workplace so that he could show off his control over her to this guy who dares to have a crush on his girlfriend, assert dominance over him, and further prove his masculinity by doing so. And then said guy had the audacity to be cute. Which is incredibly annoying to Orin, because gay attraction (in his view) is feminine and not proper for a REAL man like him. And thus he, with the power of staggering amounts of cognitive dissonance, invites this guy in for a dental appointment so that he can torture and then kill him. Because if he kills him, he won't have to deal with the fact that he derives sexual gratification from him any more (but also he totally doesn't in the first place don't worry about it he's definitely completely straight), AND he can derive sexual gratification from the process of torturing and killing him. And of course someone who is good enough at cognitive dissonance to be completely joyful and at ease while torturing people every day is going to be able to hold these two conflicting motivations in mind without recognizing that something's off there or that his attraction towards his girlfriend's coworker miiiiiight have implications for his sexuality."

[warlordess]

Ooooh mind telling us about the stobin paranoia one? Or the country club meet cute?

Oh gawd, oh gawd; my dumbass critical anxiety (on top of being exhausted after working 32 hours in two days; tbh it's mostly that second thing) kept me from answering this until now.

I do want to remind whoever, including OP, that I don't really have anything more than bare bones synopses for any of the ideas I mentioned. Also, i haven't talked up a thing I've created in so long that I don't know if I remember how.

That being said, another Steddie acquaintance, @ataliagold (go read their Steddie things maybe?? They're very good, gimme just the right amount of yummy whump) asked me about both of these in PMs so I have shared a little bit about each and they liked both concepts a lot, which gave me some courage.

So, anyway, as for the Stobin paranoia fic, which I've wondered if perhaps "paranoia" is too strong a word but eeeh... Basically, it takes place right after Starcourt (maybe like the week following or so). It's pretty well-established that Steve and Robin were still at least a bit high and hopped up on truth serum during The Bathroom Talk, not to mention the memory blurring is probably even more effed up by Steve's 74th concussion in three years (lol... sorta), so Steve gets it in his head that he somehow forced Robin to come out to him and, knowing how important safety is for a hidden queer person, especially in a place like Hawkins, he starts spiraling and isolating from her. He doesn't deserve to have his person if he has to manipulate them into divulging their secrets to him after all, she's far better off without the resident douchenozzle, Steve Harrington, invading her space and privacy and having any intimate (platonic) expectations of their relationship. While he's all in his own head about that, Robin starts coming around to check on him, only to realize she's being ignored. This causes her to eventually start spiraling too - of course the great King Steve couldn't handle being friends with a fucking dyke, of course he would snub her after the smoke and fog cleared and he remembered that she'd spurned his advances, what a load of crock, she should have known better - thus their newly formed super bond starts having holes drilled into it... Anyway, the fic is about that whole misunderstanding and them trying to work through it. I just love that kinda trope 'cause I'm the worst.

As for the Steddie country club meet-cute, it starts off similarly to a couple other fics I've read here Eddie is forced to go straight (financially only) after Reefer Rick is arrested and his supply dries up and the cops have hounded him and Wayne enough times and etc. He ends up employed at the semi-local country club predominantly as a caddy. Decent pay, some tips even, enough downtime while standing on the sidelines and aimlessly following his current client around that he can think up some future campaign ideas... and, early on, another perk introduced is his good-looking apparent coworker (who he unfortunately crosses paths with while coworker is being reamed by one of the more infamous club members). He and Steve pass each other a few more times and begin engaging, closing some distance until it's unfortunately revealed that Steve is NOT his coworker and is in fact closely related to the rich fucker that was seen yelling at him on day one. He had a good excuse for being in uniform that first time but has obviously decided to lie in order to fuck with Eddie every day since.

Well, anyway, those are the general premises of those particular fics. I feel like I gave too much away but also like I didn't really say anything at all. Lol.

[burning-bubble-tea]

I’m vacationing in a small seaside town very much having my going to the seaside for my health sorta vibe.

I love wondering what it would’ve been like to grow up here.

Cause like I very much think the regular size town I grew up in was like basically perfect. It’s close enough to the city for urban experiences and the conveniences. And it’s a large enough city that it is interesting, and well known.

But also the town I grew up in was cozy enough for like a sorta small town vibe without it actually being a small town. It’s a regular sized town. It’s by no means an urban area but it’s also not rural. But it’s not super suburbs-y. Like parts of the town definitely is suburbia but I live nearby the town core meaning basically all my needs are within a walkable distance.

For a lot of my friends it isn’t and it’s interesting hearing how their experience of the same town is vastly different than mine purely because I could walk to the town centre in like five minutes.

Anyways, I feel like I had the perfect balance of being able to do city activities as a teenager and town stuff. Like I was decently surrounded by nature, not as much nature as where I’m currently staying but quite a bit.

But I do wonder what it would’ve been like to live in a place so far from a big city.

With such a small population too.

I wonder what angsty things about their shitty small town the teenagers think here. Cause it’s not shitty but when you’re a teenager where you live is shitty cause the grass is always greener somewhere else.

Heck I was unappreciative of where I grew up until I really considered how basically perfect the place I live is. It’s just a smidge too far from transit, a spoonful of too racist and a touch too conservative for my taste but I’ve gotten used to that.

Like the main issue of my town is that there isn’t much for teenagers to do especially when the weather isn’t nice. But that could be solved with better transit. It’d make going to the mall or the city easier.

Also I do yearn for the bustle of the city and being close to more things. Like I’m close to a decent amount but a lot of my work is in the city and traffic is so so so bad getting to the city during busy times. Like I’m not far from the city but if there’s traffic I might as well be far.

Anyways, I wonder what the lonely queer does here. Do they learn to like the outdoorsy stuff there is to do here? I mean it’s artsy enough that a goth emo queer could have a decent time.

Do they go drinking in the woods?

Or do they explore the seaside?

Are they bored of the seaside?

To me a visitor, I see a beautiful scenery with wonderful wind and water.

But through the eyes of a local, do they look to the scenery and yearn for something beyond it?

Or have they come to appreciate it, I don’t tire of the views of certain areas in my town.

This place is touristy at least so there are lots of cool local businesses. My town doesn’t really have too many local places since the town is large enough for corporations to fill those niches.

I wonder if the locals here wish they had more corporations here to make getting things easier.

I wonder if the locals here order a lot online?

I can find most things as in the city there’s a specialty place for most anything.

I bemoan the lack of Asian foods in my town but at least an Asian grocery store is like fifteen minutes away by car or thirty minutes by transit.

But here they don’t have anything like that.

There’s a lot of interesting media about small towns. Like night in the woods. Or oxenfree.

Like in my head there’s something fun about the oddities that comes from small towns. But for the locals it’s probably completely plain to them.

What do you mean living in a small town isn’t a coming of age story? Enough people talk about how they come from a small town and now they’re killing it in the big city for me to assume that there’s something in the water in small towns that makes people ambitious and yearn for something more or something.

Anyways small towns are cool.